whitestripe

I did an impulsive thing yesterday, which, while I completely do NOT regret, think I probably could have restrained myself from.

I got an email from a friend, it was a 'forwarded' email. This friend sends me a lot of Christian emails - she knows I am not religious so I am not sure why she does this, but I don't ever say anything about them, I just delete them.

Yesterday though, I had to respond. I got an email which was basically a 'Muslim hate' email. I was very confused. On one hand, she sends me pro Christian emails and expects me to be ok, and then she sends me this?

I have several Muslim friends, when the first friend reconverted, I admittedly was a little shocked, but I did my best to understand her. People make choices in their life and this is the choice that she made. Since then I have actually learnt a lot about her religion - while I would never devote my life to ANY religion, I am now more comfortable with her and her choice. At first I made the common assumptions that most people seem to make, and felt like a right moron when I realised the true aspects. The part that all of my friends practice, has NOTHING to do with the common misconceptions of unequal rights to women, terrorism, racism etc etc. And each person I know who practice this religion do NOT judge others for not being a part, nor do they try to convert them - which is very important to me.

Anyway. So, back to my story.

I had to respond to this email. I am hoping I don't tarnish the friendship, as I wrote on impulse:

Please don't send me articles like this, I have several muslim friends and find this deeply offensive.

I don't think I wrote anything too horrible?

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Recently Watched: The Castle

Not sure if anyone here (other than those who live in AU of course!) have heard of Jessica Watson and her attempt to ber the youngest person to sail around the globe, unassisted? She left a few days ago from Sydney, before crashing into a freighter and having to make a stop near where we live. I've heard a few people's opinions on the subject, but the general concensus is that it's believed she has no idea what she's doing. (of course, she obviously does have SOME idea... otherwise she wouldn't be allowed to do it...) But, from television interviews she does seem a little immature. I can't help thinking that at home she must be a brat that wants some attention.
At work, there is currently a bet on how far she will get before she calls it off
To be honest though, I do hope she makes it. It will be one heck of an experience for her. I remember reading Jesse Martins book when I was about 12 and thinking it was the coolest thing.

In other news... there is no other news

We have enough points from our credit card to redeem for a 64 piece cutlery set, which would dearly come in handy when my parents arrive in a few weeks. We have about three forks, three knives, three spoons, and about 10 teaspoons (for coffees - the most important cutlery item, right? everything else pales in comparison...)

Thursday Expenses:
2.00 Staff Lotto
0.50 Coke
22.00 Beer (DF)
15.69 Groceries

Friday Expenses:
0.50 Coke

Currently Reading: The Messenger by Markus Zusak

Monday Expenses:
$136.42 Groceries

Tuesday Expenses:
$40.01 Petrol

Wednesday Expenses:
$9.00 Jewellery

---

Well, I can explain the jewellery! I got a $25 GC from a jewellery store loyalty card program for my birthday, and they were having a half price off sale. So I bought a butterfly necklace that was $69, for $9! I thought that was not too bad

I just watched a movie called Love The Beast, it is a documentary/movie Eric Bana made about his car I loved it.

Anyway, probably not a mainstream movie in the US so I doubt anyone would know what I'm talking about. But it does have Jeremy Clarkson, DR Phil & Jay Leno in it...

Went to the library on Monday to return some books and borrow new ones (yay! for free books). I am utterly disturbed by one of the books I am reading called Chemical Pink, about bodybuilders. It's like a car crash, you know you shouldn't, but you look anyway. I am a little repulsed by the book but be damned, I'm going to finish it!


Currently Listening To: He Was King - Felix Da Housecat

So, I know I have blogged a few times about this, and I know that I never take any steps to address the problem. As the title suggests, I feel like I am a deer stuck in the bright headlights of an oncoming car; I cannot make a decision to move, and I don't know which way to move either.

I am still at a loss as to what 'path' i choose to take job-wise.

The reason I have begun thinking about this again is because the baker at work looks like he is about to quit. I have been hearing 'rumours' (namely, my boss telling me). And so I have been thinking about things. My boss was telling me how he would have to hire another baker. Things would be exactly the same as before (except that maybe the place might be a bit cleaner!). My colleague T (who is a close friend) is worried she will lose her night shifts if our boss hires someone else, as my colleague is a weird child that likes to start work at midnight. I'm not particularly worried about my place at work; it will not change.

But! I have been thinking, that possibly I could become the other baker. Maybe? I'm not sure. I know I could do it and I know I could learn bread production pretty fast. DF doesn't want me to work night shifts for many reasons - but I know I would not have to do many, as T would absolutely love to have ALL night shifts. So I would probably only have to do 2, or 3 at the most.

This would all involve me becoming an apprentice, instead of a 'hobby chef' which I am now (explanation: an apprentice gets a qualification at the end of the term, which for me would be 18 months, it is normally 4 years. A hobby chef gets a higher rate of pay but no qualification - and is employed under normal circumstances, not under a 'term' or contract). It would see my wage go from $435 for 22 hours a week, to possibly $250 for 38 hours a week. I would still have to work my other job ($270 for 15 hours a week). So I would be working 53 hours a week for $685, instead of currently working 37 hours for $705.

The other direction I could take would be a bachelor of commerce. It would probably also see me decrease my earnings for the next four years (and increase debt ).

I would be doing the course via distance, so I would still be able to work. I would probably do part time for 6 months, save up some money, then do full time for 6 months, etc etc. NO, I am not going to an on campus university. I can't even begin to explain why I don't want to. And YES I know about the workload and difficulty of an online course.

Anyway.

So I guess it all comes down to me deciding what to do, which is the real problem. I know in my heart, I prefer a job where I am 'doing' things, as opposed to sitting. But the earning capacity is also very different, which throws another ball in the court. If I became a baker/pastry chef, my goal would be my own business. If I became an accountant/financial planner/analyst - I can get a salary job OR use the knowledge to own a business. So I guess the common goal is my own business - which would most likely be in the food industry anyway.
I am not one of those people that must have a certain job. I put up with things; I find things I enjoy in any of the jobs I have had, I know that I would be relatively happy with anything really.

So I guess I don't really know what I want to do, and none of this 'thinking on paper' has helped! True to form, I will probably blog about this again in another 4-6 months



Currently Reading: Chemical Pink: A story of obsession

Well, other than our big spend on the bed yesterday, we didn't have a huge weekend.

Today was a NSD for me, DF spent $9 on the tip, he cut down a tree in our front yard.

I did some washing, tidied our bedroom and took Jed for a 45 minute walk, as well as doing 55 minutes of yoga.

I got some chocolate, homemade body scrub, a facewasher and some champagne from DF's sister, hubby and DF's mum, for my birthday.

Yesterday I forgot to mention I spent a gift voucher that my dad sent me for my Bday. I got a cd, The Best of Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, and Se7en on dvd, because DF said I would like it, and it has Brad Pitt in it

One of my closest friends is away on a competition, she is being flown to another state to compete, so I will be having a quiet and most likely productive week I tend to fob off chores to spend time with her.

Friday Expenses:
Coffee & Cake: $8.30

Saturday Expenses:
Bed: $599
Mattress: $899
Coffee: $5.30
Juice: $5.95
Woodwork Book: $15.99
Doona Cover: $75.00

Sunday Expenses:
Tip Fee: $9.50


I am now off to upload new music onto my ipod.

I've decided to start posting at the end of each entry something that I either just watched/read or am listening to. I used to do that on an old blog, so I'll start doing it here, as this is the only blog that I regularly update

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.


Currently Reading: The New Financial Order

We bought a new bed frame and mattress!

Last week we checked out a few stores, but decided to go and look in another part of town. First off we went to a higher priced store, and tried a few mattresses. We decided on one and paid for it on the spot, as it was reduced from $1299 to $899 for today only.

The bed frames, being a higher priced store, were in the range of $700-$2500, and we thought we should go and check out some of the cheaper stores first. Once we got to them though, we realised that, yes, they were cheaper ($200-$900), for a reason! They just did not feel right. Cheaply made, with cheap materials, and no care taken with them. We went home to get DF's work van to pickup the mattress, and talked about spending a little more for a good quality frame.

We went back to the store we bought the mattress from and looked at the cheaper priced frames, deciding on one that was $699 - pine with a white gloss finish, very much suits the style of our house, it is called the 'Romany'. I'll have to post a picture of it next time. The woman knocked $100 off the price which took it down to $599. I also bought a doona cover for $75, marked down from $125. So we saved a bit, but spent a lot in the end. Can't wait to have the first sleep on our new bed though!

It is like heaven, really makes me realise what we were sleeping on before! In comparison our old mattress was like a bunch of coils covered by a sheet.

(These are both DF and my expenses)

Tuesday:
Lunch & Coffee: $8.95
Takeaway for Dinner: $14
Petrol: $14.75
Work Expenses: $46.00


Wednesday:
Dinner out: $76.70 (came with two free movie tickets)
Groceries: $15.70

Thursday:
DF Breakfast: $9.00
Energy Drink: $3.00

So, I realised I did not even do any goals for August! And didn't notice until today! How bad is that!?

Anyway, so my goals for September are short and sweet:

[] prepare/plan/successfully throw engagement party on the 27th.

[] buy a new bed before the 25th

[] stay within my personal allowance for the month (and get DF to as well)

[] book 6 monthly doctors appt & get blood tests done.

[] clean out/tidy pantry

[] clean out fridge & get replacement door shelves

[] wash my car

[] get my car serviced

[] water my plants every day

[] make sure jed gets atleast 2 walks a day.

Ok, so I've never done this before so bear with me! Advice would be appreciated if I've left anything important out!

Liabilities:
Mortgage: -$298 438.53
CC Balance: -$2304.55
Personal Loan: -$2739.93

Total Debt: -$303 483.01

euch!!!

Assets:
House (current median market value) $325k
Savings: $8000
Superannuation 1: $15000
Superannuation 2: $8000
Car 1: $5000
Car 2: $4000
Car 3: $4000
Artwork: $5000
Tools: $4500.00

Total Assets: $378 500.00

(I only include the assets that I know would sell, and at the lowest price we could get for them at short notice.)

Total Net Worth: $75 016.99

Well, that's not too shabby for a 22 year old and a 29 year old, yeah?

So, I was just contacted by a friend on facebook that I have not talked to for over a year. She moved inland where the rent is cheaper, with a guy (that I was not fond of) and popped out three kids in four years. Our contact has been patchy since she left school in year 11 (2003). I've tried to keep in contact with her, I really did. I sent her money and stamps and wrote to her more than she wrote back, and visited her early last year once with a friend when she stayed in a place more than a few months. But she moved last year and sent me a card saying she would write soon with her new address, and then didn't. Then I moved (but redirected my mail) and haven't had any contact until now.

It turns out that the guy she was with was abusing her, keeping her prisoner and not letting her have friends, and made them move around a lot. She is safe now, many many hours away from where I live - and he is going to jail next week.

I am glad to hear her and her children are safe, and I do plan to keep in better contact with her from now on.

I know I should not be thinking of myself right now but I really cannot help it. It just brings back too many memories of my own past. Am I horrible if I do not want to hear any details? I guess I should swallow my own feelings and let her vent but it is very painful all the same. She is very blase about it all.

So, I have added a new 'category' for my entries. It is the engagement/wedding category. It's probably not going to be much use for anyone besides myself, because we are not going to be having a traditional wedding anyway, in terms of white dresses, drawn out ceremonies and a three course meal. I think the only traditional thing we're having is a cake! (Because I can make it myself )
But it will be nice to have all these related posts in one place. And I can track the costs easily as well.
Anyone reading, please bear in mind that we won't be getting married for a few years. This is just me rambling on about it.

Income:
DF: $1733.00
Me: $2495.95
Other: $20.00
Total: $4248.95 ($1062.23 p/w)

Expenses:
Mortgage: $1523.08
Groceries: $573.08
Petrol: $222.96
(Bills)
Phone & Internet: $78.10
Car Repairs: $52.87
Mobile Phone: $56.75
House Insurance: $69.39
Life Insurance: $53.67
Property Rates: $1083.21

Personal Loan: $148.00
Pet Supplies: $17.50
House Repairs/Maintenance: $134.94
Appliance/House Gadgets/Tech: $13.79
Work Expenses: $210.02
Clothes: $12.00
Shoes: $313.95
Dining Out: $148.50
Entertainment: $12.87
Misc: $59.80
Gifts: $12.49
Health/Grooming: $99.75
DF Fun: $317.70
Me Fun: $307.25
Engagement Ring: $2000

Total Spent: $7521.67

Deficit: -$3272.72

Ok, so by first look this is all a bit scary. But add into the equasion:
Bills: $1393.99
Of which I had the amount in a separate account.
So, deficit is now: $1878.73, which is fine because the engagement ring was $2k. So TECHNICALLY we were in front this month by $121.27, if you can believe that. The purchase of the engagement ring was to be taken out of our savings.

DF also earned about HALF what he usually does, due to having no work on.

But, all in all, August was an expensive month. We spent more than we should have in terms of fun money, but only went out for dinner once, for DF's sisters marriage dinner. Bought running shoes, which were a huge expense at over $300.
Groceries are quite a bit more as we had a bit of a party last weekend.

Areas to improve in September:
Fun Money
Groceries
Petrol (???)
House Maintenance

Todays Expenses:

0.50 Can of Coke
2.00 Staff Lotto
26.40 Postage (Present for stepmum & engagement party invitations)

Todays Spending:
Petrol: $36.47
Drink: $3.99
Gardening Stuff: $71.94
Underwear: $25.00
extra Engagement Invitations: $12.95
Coffee: $4.30

As the title suggests, we gave out our first invitation today, and got our first official rsvp. I will send the bulk of them tomorrow and drop off a few at houses that are close to ours to save postage.

Today I planted mint, rosemary, lettuce and tomatoes, and added a bit more potting mix & trimmed our basil and coriander.

The coriander seeded and looks like it's dying - I'm not an expert gardener, so can anyone tell me, I have heard before that once coriander seeds it's dead. Is that true? I've trimmed everything back, does that help?

Tonight we're having a bbq for dinner, DF's having rissoles and I am having vegetarian sausages, with a salad.

DF's sister & fiances wedding went well. Their 'real' wedding will be next year, this one was so that their new-born daughter has her mum & dad as married on the birth certificate. Kind of nice. We had a lovely dinner afterwards, of course my mum and her partner ruining it halfway through because my mum had too much to drink. wow, what a surprise. thankfully it was just me and DF at that end of the table, so people knew something was happening but it didn't affect the rest of the table. Of course they turned it back on DF and I as they stormed out to leave, saying it was our fault and that we started it. REALLY PISSES ME OFF. Anyway.

This only strengthens my resolve to ask my mother to NOT drink at my engagement party. People are telling me it's unfair to ask her to do that and not everyone else, but I really could not give a crap. 'Everyone else' doesn't cause a scene every single time. And 'everyone else' are always walking on eggshells when she's around.

So yesterday we printed out the invitations and will send them tomorrow. I only have four invitations that I do not have addresses for. How exciting!

The invitations I ended up getting are notecards with pretty designs on the front, blank inside. Then I just printed out the information and glued it inside. They look good. Simple but good.

We are having a morning tea type of thing, starting at 10am. So then if people are getting hungry (or want to leave) they can go straight to lunch. We're having it at a popular park near a river, lots of amenities. I will post my planned menu later.

Expenses Friday 28/8
10.10 (DF's Lunch)
70.00 (2 x 2 course meals)
7.50 (drinks)
40.00 (drinks)
25.00 (clothes)
Total: $152.60

Expenses Saturday 29/8
17.40 (breakfast)
31.80 (farmers market)
10.00 (freshly ground coffee 250g)
3.50 (ginger beer)
15.00 (icecreams)
12.00 (work shirts)
12.87 (dvd - death at a funeral)
4.25 (cooking magazine)
9.95 (tattoo magazine)
5.00 (scratchie)
Totals: $121.77

I've decided I might try posting my daily expenditures. I'm finding it hard to get the motivation to track expenses lately, so making a daily post might give it a bit of a different twist. I know a few people do that on here, so I'll give it a try

Todays Expenses:
0.50 - Coke at work
2.00 - Staff Lotto
7.49 - Chocolates as a 'registry office' gift (not actual wedding gift!)
1.99 - Chocolate (for myself ) low energy fix.
4.20 - takeaway coffee
8.00 - cards & wrapping paper
38.85 - engagement party invitations

Total Spent: $63.03

(still have to add in df's totals so this could change...)

Inspired by MonkeyMama, I decided to make my own 1k list. I think it's a really interesting concept, 1k is definately a barrier in a lot of people's minds when it comes to spending money. This is everything I have ever bought for 1k or more in my life, and what DF has since we've been together.

First Car: $1500 (2005)
Holiday: (DF) $3000~ (DF) (2006)
Holiday: (me) $1000~ (me) (2006)
Desktop Computer: $3500~ (2007)
Second Car: $6500 (2007)
Project Car: $3500~ (2007)
Laptop: $2050 (2007)
Holiday: $1500~ (me) (2008)
Holiday: $8000~ (DF) (2008)
House: $320 000 (2009)
New Engine: $1911 (2009)
Engagement Ring: $2320 (2009)

And the expenses I know that are coming this year:
Bed & Mattress: $1200~
Tattoos: $1500~ (sep & oct 2009)
Fencing: $3000~

It's interesting to see. I thought we'd have more electronic stuff there but when I think about it, a lot of our stuff is REALLY old, and other things we either do without or find a cheaper way to get it. (ie. for free!). The holidays, obviously wasn't the purchase of one item, but those are the sort of thing I count as a lump sum. Because if we didn't go on a holiday, we would not have spent that money.

So what's your 1k list?

thanks everyone for your advice and thoughts

Just a note to anyone wondering about the personal bank account:
I did mention that it was a sole trading business. Not sure about america, but in Australia there is nothing illegal about having an account where personal and business expenses are both withdrawn, as long as the business expenses are kept track of and the reciepts are kept for 5 years. The ATO find nothing unusual about this, there are plenty of busineses that operate in this way. Auditing takes a bit longer if we require an audit, but there is nothing wrong or illegal about this practice.
My parents pay their taxes and do not owe any, they are always paid on time. So there are no problems in that regard.

I could be responsible if there was 'funny' stuff as I am the book-keeper, but there is none of that. The books are as clean as clean can be (I am responsible for the books, I would not do something that was illegal), it is just their money management skills that are lacking. So I am sorry if anyone got the wrong idea on the book keeping front, there is nothing happening there.

The main content of my post was aimed at the poor money management, nothing to do with the legalities of what they are doing.

I walk into work today:

mum: "B(her partner) told me I have to work out our finances and told me to ask you to help".
me: "um, ok."
mum: "yeah, because A has to give J (the cousin who is staying with them) some money, and he wants to know how much we have, and how much is left"
me: "well, that's easy. NONE."
mum: "well, we know that. but i have to work out our budget"

I don't know why I'm annoyed at this; by all means I should be happy right? Right?

This is something I have been talking to them about for years. literally, years.

This is why I am annoyed:

- I have been telling them for months that their business is struggling financially - but because they could always see a 'balance' in the account they believed I was being dramatic, or something like that.
- Despite me telling them this, they still went on a week long holiday last month.
- There has been no work for the past month, so of course they found time to play the pokies and have boozy dinners/lunches out every weekend.
- Meanwhile, my DF has earnt HALF of what I earn (because there's no work), usually he earns quite a lot more than me. I know the world is not a fair place, but I am still allowed to say that I think that's unfair.
- A year ago I told them they couldn't afford to buy a new car but they went and bought one anyway, the same day.
- I told them the business couldn't afford another worker, and lo and behold, B's cousin arrived two weeks ago.
- You'd think someone in financial dire straits would cut back on luxury items, but from the 1st of July to today (25th August) they have spent $1049.24 on alcohol and withdrawn $3080 in cash (and I can safely say that a very LARGE portion of that was dining out and pokies - more than 50% anyway, possibly 75% but I dare say it's even more than that).
- The accountant suggested we set up a company instead of a sole trading business, but there isn't even enough cash to pay the fees to set this up (but like I said, there's cash for overpriced beer and parmigianas at the pub).
- I also suggested we set up a separate personal bank account for them and pay B a WAGE, instead of living off his check account (which is where the business' money goes in and out). His response? 'The business can't afford to pay me a wage, I'm worth too much'. It just frustrates me because he thinks all the money he spends doesn't count for anything, he thinks he DOESN'T get a wage! Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you ever heard???

I could go on, but you get my drift.

Anyway, so the time comes that they actually want to do something (because I literally CAN'T pay the bills) and I DON'T want to help them. What is going on???

I just feel like I'm beating a dead horse.

I said to my mum, just because you MAKE a budget doesn't mean shit. You actually have to DO it. You have to STICK to it. That's what a budget is.

And she goes, yeah, yeah, I know, we will.

I said to her, I've tried this with you, I've asked you all to write down what you spend. And neither of you did it. You can't say "I'm going to make a budget" if it just sits there and does nothing. The point of a budget is to sit down and figure out what you spend, then compare it to what you earn, and whittle it down so that they are compatible amounts. And then you have to adhere to it, day in and day out. It doesn't do anything if you're supposed to stick to it and you don't.

And she goes "Well, we will, I just need you to help me figure out how much we spend."

I said "yeah, that's what YOU GUYS need to do, not me. It's no good telling ME you spend $350 on groceries a week and that's it, if you really spend $50 a week on cigarettes, $200 on booze, $60 on takeaways and $350 on groceries. You need to figure out how much you REALLY spend, yourselves."

Am I being harsh? I just cannot be bothered. They DO need to figure this stuff out, but I've held my hopes up for so long that I don't think I can raise them again.

I suggested they go to our accountant. He already said to me he would help them, when they finally wanted to help. For a few reasons. The first is, he can explain a lot of things that I probably don't know. He can suggest things I haven't thought of. And he is an independant body that has no ties with them. He is not their daughter or son, and they may take the advice from him better than they do from me.

It's just the whole thing of getting them there, first off, before things start looking up again, because then the whole cycle will start again. Not that the cycle ever stopped to begin with.

Anyway. Thanks for listening. It IS a financial rant, so it does have some place here.

August seems to have been a low post month for me. I seem to be doing a fair bit but nothing that is really post-worthy.
I also have been having difficulties recording spending. I'm laxing at it, which is a worry. I know I will kick myself later for it, I annoy myself when I do this because then it isn't done properly and I can't rely on the figures later on. I like things done orderly!
So I am making the effort to do it, even though it has become a chore this month.

The weather has been odd the past week. It hit over 35 degrees celcius yesterday (and it's meant to be winter). But, two states away in Melbourne (about 3 hours by plane), it was hailing with 6.5 degrees celcius temperatures. What the?!

Interesting though, they interviewed a guy (you know, a weather guy? can't think of his proper title right now, having a blonde moment) and they asked him direct questions about global warming, whether this is an indicator of it. He skipepd around the questions very carefully, sitting on the fence. Very good at it, but it struck me as odd.

I guess some people don't want to enter into the debate, you never know, he might have political interests that he might be protecting. Maybe he hasn't made up his mind, or rather he doesn't want to be labelled as one of either of the groups; those that believe in global warming and those who think it's a crock of ****.

It's all rather funny when you think about it. The way some people refuse to accept that the planet is dying. Call it what you want, it's obvious the world is not the same as it was 500 years ago.

Sorry, don't really know where that rant came from!!!

I finally bought some new sunglasses on the weekend, $49.95 polarised Mangrove Jacks. NOT a brand name, btw. Ok, so technically it is a brand, but not a 'brand name'. Mangrove Jacks are pretty much the only sunglass makers I can find that make good quality pairs under $140 that are polarised, I am forever their customer. (If you've never had polarised lenses, you're missing out). I have gone through three pairs this year. I had one pair (an MJ pair) that lasted me two years or more, that finally snapped at the arm. Then I went onto a pair I got for free with a magazine, which snapped within a few months. To tell you the truth I was quite happy, they were uncomfortable and not polarised. Then I found another pair I had gotten for free, so the cheapskate in me made me wear them until they snapped too. These cheap ones don't last long do they? Looking forward to another 2-3 years with my new MJ's!
It annoys me though, all those STUPID fashion glasses, Prada, D & G, CC's, they have the LOWEST rating for eye protection but people buy them because they're supposed to be good quality, because they're a luxury brand. Get off it. I saw a girl with a pair of Prada ones, (also had a Guess bag and a million other designer labels, of course all the badges showing so you KNEW it) and my mind screamed "You are a tool!". I seem to be getting cynical.

Bought an anti-aging cookbook. I realise at nearly 22 I don't need that sort of thing yet, but the recipes looked divine. Mostly centred on fish and fresh veges, everything just seemed so fresh and clean. I am going to try out a few this week. It must be this heat making me want to eat salads and all that again. Bye Bye soup! See you next winter!

DF and I have been talking about an engagement party. Typically I think you're meant to have them just after you announce the engagement, and it's a good idea for us to do that because we're not actually getting married for a few years.
So, my dad and stepmum and little sister are staying with us Sept 25-Oct 2nd. They live 3 hours away by plane so it's a big deal, I only see them once a year.

I was thinking it would be a good idea to have the engagement party while they're here, people expect everyone's parents to be there of course.

So I called my dad yesterday to ask him if that would be ok, as it is their *holiday* after all. He said 'if that's what you guys would like to do we would be happy to.' I guess that is the best reaction I could get. I really did stress that if they felt the teeniest bit uncomfortable we could have a quieter dinner while they are here with just a few people, and have the engagement party another time with a whole heap of people.

It is just, I know my dad and them want nothing to do with my mum and her partner. Things weren't exactly amicable, and I understand that.
And I will have to ask my mum to NOT drink a single drop. So there's a possibility that she will get all stubborn and refuse to come anyway. And you know the horrible thing? There's a part of me that actually wants her to not come. *ALL* of our friends avoid her, she has given my DF's auntie a hard time over nothing once (and now thinks she's the devil - when the Auntie did nothing at all) and I just feel tense imagining my dad there. Also my mum's partner is one of those 'take sides before you even know the other side of the story' types - hates my dad because of the things my mum told him which mostly are in her head anyway (I suppose that is normal in a divorce anyway, but it just gets to me).

Anyway. Then there's the whole thing of planning it, I want to have it on a Sunday mid-morning, so it sends the message that it's a casual event, not an actual 'party'. DF suggested a morning tea type of thing, and I had the idea of hiring one of those mobile coffee carts. Anyone ever had one of those? How much do they cost?
I would make most of the stuff at work and then we would not have to ask people to bring anything. We would have cupcakes, quiches, sandwhiches, maybe some mini custard tarts or something, scones, slices of cake etc. Sort of like a high tea?
None of our friends have ever had an engagement party like that, so it would be rather different. We'd have it at a park.

So anyway, I just really don't know what to do. My dad's reaction was neutral, which is the best I could hope for I guess. I have the difficult task of asking my mum nicely not to drink. I got angry and upset last night and cried to DF because I thought to myself 'Why the **** should I even have to ASK this kind of thing? And why should I walk on eggshells around it? It's not MY ******* problem!'

Anyway. What would you do? I am sure my dad would be happy to have a nice dinner with maybe my DF's mum, grandparents, DF's sister and a couple of our friends. But then again I just don't think it's right to have an engagement party without your dad there.
We would invite around 50 people. There would be others that they could talk to, I just don't know what will happen.

I thought I would write this as an entry instead of a comment, as the question does deserve a bit of thought.

To be honest, I'm pretty far from frugal compared to some people here. So I guess I have never 'become frugal'. I spend massive amounts of money on things that many of you here never will. But we're all different, and we all live for and strive for different things.

But my desire to learn about money and all things financial came from my mother and her partner having a distinct LACK of knowledge about the subject. When I was 13 I started to record their reciepts for their new business in a ledger. I realised how much money they wasted, and, to be blunt, it really pissed me off. But because I didn't 'know' a lot about finances, I basically didn't have a leg to stand on in an argument with them about their money. (Of course, now I don't have a leg to stand on either, because I've realised, after many years, that I'm their CHILD, and will always be that to them, and not someone you take advice from).

I've always been an organisational freak as well, so once I started earning money, that was just another thing I did, recording expenses, making budgets, tallying up my savings, working out how much I would have in x weeks etc.

My need to control money probably comes from not having much available as I was growing up. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I think when I have children I won't burden them money problems as much as I was when I was a child. I remember times when I would not bother to begin writing letters to friends who I had moved away from, because I didn't know when we would be able to buy stamps (40c back then).
I remember having to ask my dad for money for things, even though he also paid child support AND gave me pocket money. I remember having to give the pocket money to my mum for groceries. Looking back, I think there were equal parts in 'not having enough money' and 'mum spending money on alcohol' in play. *shrug*

So really, for me, there was no actual turning point. My life is a series of events that have shaped me the way I am. Everything that has been sent my way I have tried to make some kind of order out of it.

Did not do much today. I worked 6am-2pm, drive half an hour to pay a $100 deposit for the ink work (turns out both will take around 3 hours each- $150 an hour, you do the math. good thing he has a waiting list, it seems!)

Went to look at a bed, DF agreed with me he does not like the look of it in real life (looked much better in the magazine!) so we did not buy it. saved $600? sort of.

I bought a coffee and a fig & pecan biscuit while waiting for DF, $6.55.

We're going to look at more beds next weekend, will compare prices.

This weekend we're having a barbecue, lots of family coming over. I've already bought a few dips and crackers, i will buy ingredients for salads on Saturday.

planned menu:
balsamic roasted potatoes
bbq meat & vegetables & tofu
pesto pasta salad
garden salad

Tomorrow I must:
- tidy kitchen
- tidy dining/living areas
- tidy deck
- do laundry
- set up spare rooms for guests
- tidy our bedroom
- vaccuum & mop floors

So after discussing it with DF a bit (and he decided he wanted one too) I finally called to book in a time to get a tattoo. When I got my last one, (over a year and a half ago) DF's sister and I went in on a Thursday and booked for the following Monday.
She got a guy, LM, and I got a woman, LA. So I really really really wanted the guy to do my piece this time and convinced DF to go there with me and get his done by the same person.
Wouldn't you know it, LM now has a 3 month waiting list! Holy crap. But, we got in a month earlier because we could do it on a weekday. so the appointment is actually in TWO months.

So anyway, even though it's technically a birthday present, we're booked in for the 21st of October (a Wednesday).

I've decided I'm getting a peacock.

Oh and I think I made a d*ck of myself on the phone. The lady asked me how long I thought it would take and I was like 'hmmm, probably an hour for each one'. she was like 'is that all?'
anyway, I got home and looked at them and realised they'll probably be a minimum of two hours. Let's hope she's not there when I take the pictures in tomorrow!

So, last week my friend/colleague got her arm caught in a mixer (in a test kitchen where she was training for a competition).
She's fine, nothing is broken but she just has a massive bruise. They made her go to hospital and she had to fill out all the reports and everything. It was a machine malfunction - not her fault, not anyone else's fault. (I do the exact same thing she did every day - except the mixer doesn't unexpectantly start on me! eeek!) Anyway. That is not the point of the story.
So after that happened, the manager of the company that owns the test kitchen felt so bad he loaded her car up with freebies. What he thought she would do with 3 x 25kg bags of organic bakers flour, I have no idea. (amongst other things).

So she gave me a bag of flour. Actually, she put it next to my car at work and said 'this is yours'. I've already given about 10kgs to my mother. What to do? What to do!

I do USE flour, but obviously not in ridiculous quantities. I'm planning on making banana bread and some ginger snap biscuits this weekend. I'm going to have to package the flour up very carefully so it doesn't get weevils or anything. Right now it's sitting on our dining room table. DF laughed at me when i hauled it inside (on my shoulder, like a true baker ) and was like 'WHAT are you going to do with THAT?'

I drove my mum to the CBD for something and while I was waiting for her I went into the shops to look for a pair of sunglasses (I've had three pairs break on me in the last year - all were free though so I'm not going to cry about it). So, I didn't find any sunglasses, but I did find a gorgeous dress that I bought for DF's sister and her fiances wedding.

Oh yes, I haven't mentioned that!

So DF's sis and fiance have decided to go to the registry office and get married so that it says they are married on their newborn daughters birth certificate. So we are all going to go and have dinner afterwards. It's a secret though, because they would eventually like to have a wedding down the track, just not for a while.

Anyway, so the dress was marked down from $60 to $48, which is quite a bargain anyway. I also bought a vegetarian cook book for $15. I went to a store and looked at a bed frame that DF found in a catalogue for Freedom Furniture. Not sure if I like it looking up close, but we'll see. DF is going to look at it on Thursday. The frame (without mattress) is $600. We need to buy ourselves a new bed before September 25th, as that is when my dad, stepmum and little sis stay with us for a week.

It appears that the summer heat is already here. Eugh. (and yes, I know it is not even officially Spring here yet, but Queensland weather doesn't exactly follow rules).

I *extremely dislike* summer. I can think of three things that are good about it, and that's it: mangoes, thunderstorms and the fact that it's just too hot to eat anything and you sweat off about 5 kilograms (atleast at my work, anyway)

In a previous entry I mentioned I spent $170 on a pair of fitted running shoes. I took Jed for a couple of runs with them and was so amazed at them (ok - I've never had properly fitted runners before - I know it's not *that* amazing but it really was something) that I immediately forced DF to go and get fitted too.

He got them home and told me he would probably never wear them anywhere except walking with Jed (they are Nikes - so not his style, which are Vans and other skateboarding shoes). So then he took Jed for a run and lo and behold, he thinks they're amazing too. He even wore them to a job site (yes, in all their shiny white glory).

So hows that for a change of mind transformation?

Anyway, back to Summer. Argh. Totally dreading it. Really.

We have decided to brave this summer without an air conditioner. It was our original plan to buy one before summer. I know they aren't really necessary, but the 40C heat begs to differ. We just want to see how the house is over the summer - seeing as we moved in during the end of summer, we're kind of wondering how it is in the midst of it. I have a feeling we'll regret the decision, but we have ten million pedestal fans so I am sure we'll survive, somehow.

The one that couldn't make the time to see me when I was visiting her state?
The one that would never initiate a conversation with me? (It always had to be me asking her questions)
The one that stayed with me for a weekend but kept reminding me of everything she was missing out back home?
The one that always has to have everything better than me?

Do you remember one of my goals for this year was to shed the friendships that did not make me feel good about myself? And that I made the decision to let my friendship with this girl (who, by the way, I have known since I was 4) wither and die because I felt like I was doing all the work and that she did not value me? Do you remember me saying "Ok, I am really not going to start up a conversation with her again, she can come to me!"

Well, guess what?

It took nearly a year (or was it longer?)before she initiated a conversation with me (via msn - because I know how *hard* it is to do that - lol). But she finally did. Of course, it was to find out the gossip on my engagement (which I just put up on facebook) and also OF COURSE:

to tell me she was getting laser eye surgery and that she is moving to Vancouver next year.

It's lovely that she's doing that, and I think I do even feel sad she is leaving Australia - but it doesn't surprise me of the timing and the way she told me. Typical! Argh!

Sorry guys. I am just feeling a bit flat. Maybe a bit pissed off. Hmmmm...

It's my birthday in a couple of weeks. I wasn't even going to bother about asking for anything from DF, I figured we'd spent enough money on ourselves lately.

However!

It's all my boss's fault really. He started asking me about my tattoos, because his wife had booked in to get their childrens names tattooed on her feet (and I have two on my feet). And then the next day he came in and said his wife had booked him in to get his (and he doesn't even WANT to! He's just doing what she tells him to!)

Anyway, so talking about it to my boss started me thinking about it. The feeling you get while you're sitting in the waiting chair. The smell of the place (clean, if you're wondering!). The buzzing sound of the gun. The usual gruffness of the artist about to inflict pain on you, who only soften once you've winced and gritted your teeth a little, who then go on to tell you stories about their wife/husband and their kids, other people they've tattooed etc.

So yeah, I started thinking about it and once you get that feeling, it's hard to shake. So, guess what I'm getting for my birthday?