I've avoided blogging about this for a really long time. I'm not sure why; it's been swirling around in my head, like water around a drain, for MONTHS and I am sure that just getting it out there and getting some unbiased feedback would do me the world of good. But on the other hand, I KNOW the reason I haven't put it down in writing, it's like I have two voices in my head telling me different things. The first one is saying 'you're just unsure, so there's no point fussing about it, mull it over a bit more' and then the second voice is saying 'I know why you REALLY haven't written anything about, because you're afraid once you do it will mean you'll have to DO something about it.'
Sigh.
So what have I been avoiding? Oh, just my whole life. *insert dramatic arm flap here*
Ok, to be serious now. I have two, no, THREE possible futures mapped out ahead of me. I'm just finding it difficult to pick one out of two of the better options, so I'm sticking with the middle option, which is ultimately the easy option, which leads me in the very distinct direction of: no-wheres-ville. (read: doing what I'm doing now - no change, ever.)
There is a possibility of me maybe gaining a qualification as a pastry chef. It will take me 18 months to complete a fast tracked apprenticeship, or less, if my boss will sign me off. There are a couple of problems, however:
- I will go from $20 an hour to some god-awful amount, like $8 an hour or something. I don't actually know how much because it's all rather hazy.
- I will probably have to work 38 hours a week instead of 22. And for less money than I currently earn.
- I will probably still have to do the books at my parents business, otherwise we won't be able to live comfortably, so that means going back to working 55 hours a week again. (Did that two years ago - Blah).
- I don't know if this is something I want to do, other than at the workplace I'm in. I don't see myself seeking out employment somewhere else as a pastry chef.
- I'm not 100% sure if I can do it yet. It's just a possibilty.
The good parts are:
- I will have a qualification.
- I will be able to earn a couple bucks more an hour than I currently am.
- Even though the pay is low, I will get holiday and sick pay - atleast for the 18 month term of the apprenticeship.
- I could win some awards.
- It's an occupation I could fall back on later on.
My second option is to start studying via an online course, a Bachelor in Commerce. Why online? Because the whole idea of going to University doesn't excite me in the slightest. But don't get me wrong, I like the idea of studying and doing a university course - just not on campus.
There is a uni in Australia (about 5 hours drive from me) that does 75% of it's programs online. Only 25% of students attend the university on-campus. About 30% are overseas, the rest scattered throughout Australia. You get everything sent to you on CD, DVD, books and workbooks in parcels, via email and tutorials by podcasts. It is an *actual* university course/degree/everything - for those that were wondering.
I haven't really looked into it but I know I can get the fees deferred by HECS HELP (government program - like a student loan but not really).
Doing an online course means I can still work and I can choose when to study and when to 'attend lectures'.
It also means I have to be super vigilant about motivation and getting work done.
I'm worried though, that I've been out of school, out of study-mode, for so long, that it will be impossible to get back into the zone. I finished high school in '04.
I know my interests lay more with finance than working for someone else in a kitchen. I enjoy cooking and I enjoy finance, but I would rather cook for fun than work. I would rather earn more money being an accountant/financial analyst/advisor etc than being a pastry chef.
But then I'm worried I'll go to all this trouble and then not be able to get a job.
Or worse, go to all this trouble and FAIL MISERABLY.
*sigh*
I guess it all comes down to when I want to take the leap, and which leap I want to take. I think I'm a little scared of failure; I'd much rather sit and do nothing than attempt something and fail.
DF supports me in whatever I choose to do, but he has this belief that I'm super dooper smart and that I would be 'an awesome accountant'. He even talks of being a SAHD while I work (like monkeymama! - I even told him about your blog and he loved it)
I don't know.
Anyway. So thats what I have avoided blogging about for a very long time. That's what's been on my mind. It kind of feels good to get it all out there.
I Think I'm At A Crossroads... (???)
July 3rd, 2009 at 09:07 am
July 3rd, 2009 at 11:32 am 1246620757
July 3rd, 2009 at 11:45 am 1246621557
July 3rd, 2009 at 12:03 pm 1246622634
I would "try" one or the other path. Take 1 online course and see how you like it. I think you will adapt to the workload easily and it will be personally rewarding for you. But if it is a pain then dont take anymore classes.
"Try" the chef thing. Try it for 1 month. If it is not for you then go back to the old job.
July 3rd, 2009 at 02:36 pm 1246631767
July 3rd, 2009 at 08:36 pm 1246653373
I also agree about not taking a huge pay cut right when you bought your house. AS did that right after we bought our condo and we struggled to make ends meet (probably ended up getting us deeper in debt, though we needed no real help doing that!) Granted you're much more responsible than AS and I were back in the day (and we were 24 and 29!), so maybe you could figure out how to absorb the pay cut.
July 3rd, 2009 at 10:51 pm 1246661466
Your age and experience are a huge plus... you're not a 18 yr old who'll skip classes because you partied too hard the night before.... you have 5 years of maturity, a home and a fiance to your name.... these will help you remain focussed on your career post-college....
And you've already being doing the books for your parents' business - relevant experience...
My vote is for the college degree ! :-)
p.s. I don't really know you - just going on my impression of you...
July 4th, 2009 at 07:31 pm 1246735880
If your main hesitation about going back to school is worrying about how long you've been out ... well, I'm heading back (one week!) and I've been out essentially since 1997.
I think the suggestion of taking one course and seeing how it goes may be a good one. Take the course, see how committed you are able to make yourself, if the format works for you. Then decide from there.
July 8th, 2009 at 04:14 am 1247026474
smiley: once the apprenticeship is over i will still have a job, i will just earn a few dollars more an hour (so, around $24 an hour).
gamecock: what i am doing now is what i will be doing in my apprenticeship, so technically i have already tried it for 3 years
joan: the university i will be doing the online courses through is well known for its distance/online courses. more students attend online classes than the actual campus.
thanks everyone again.