<< Back to all Blogs
Login or Create your own free blog
Home > seeking some advice: money from my dad

seeking some advice: money from my dad

April 15th, 2009 at 01:36 am

First of all I am seeking some advice:
My dad has put $60 into my account every fortnight for... ever. When I was younger it was $20 a month, but it increased a few years ago.
I don't ask him for anything else ever - this probably stems from when I was young my mum would force me to ask my dad for anything I needed or wanted - so as soon as I started earning my own money I was fiercely independant.
Anyway, back to it. I appreciate the money I get from my dad, but I know I would be alright without it. He and his wife have a 12 year old daughter and they are still paying off a mortgage. I am closing the bank account where he puts the money - so my dilemma is: how do I word this?
I was thinking of writing an email (which is how we normally communicate) and saying, that I am closing the bank account, and that while I appreciate the allowance he gives me, and every time I see it deposited in my bank I do think of him, but that now is a time where I would be happy if he would like to use this money for my little sister (this is not the one that was sent to the grandparents - this is the complete other side of the family), or for their mortgage (they are good with money - the only thing I berate them with is that they don't pay extra! argh! and they only bought their house for $87k 10 years ago!). But that I would be happy to give him my bank details anyway for emergencies. And then I would ask how he felt about this.

So I was wondering how that sounded? I know there are LOTS of parents on here, and I thought I could get your input.

I have been thinking about it for ages. As I have said, I appreciate the money. And I also think it's crass to say 'dad, my new bank details are...'. And I also realise that I will be alright without the money. And I would prefer, in my heart, that they use it for themselves as well. I still get money for my birthday and christmas. They even give us money for DF's birthday!

So, any advice is welcome. Thankyou for taking the time to read!

Onto other updates:

I checked my old bank account today and the $900 stimulus has gone in (insert happy dance here).

The only thing I want to buy this week is a new pair of black heels. I do HAVE a pair, I just don't know where they are... and I need them by Saturday. Also, my feet go numb in them. Which is a good thing, considering otherwise they could be quite painful (I wouldn't know!) but I can't help thinking of the long term effects...

Not to say the new pair will be any different. I have accepted the fact that I do LOVE the look of gorgeous heels, but I that am much more of a ballet flat girl. But I have been reading lately that they are just as bad. *sigh* what am I supposed to do? wear joggers all the time? crocs? puh-lease!

I think I may wait a little while before I spend any more of it. No doubt everyone would have jacked up the prices because of it (or... won't have any good specials on). Also, DF just bought a new engine for his car, at the tune of $1920! But hopefully he and his BIL can just put it in, in one day, and DF will actually have a car of his own again.

I am also getting my car serviced today. It's car stuff all around. I am getting the brake pads and rotors done, I am guessing it will be around $500-$600 including the normal service as well. But I am praying that there is nothing else that needs to be done either. The mechanic is quite good, I have always gone there by myself and he has never tried to say 'oh, I had to do this' as all the horror stories go. With the brakes, he just did my normal service and said 'If I were you I would do these soon'. So I am very happy with him.

So there is a lot of money going OUT of the account at the moment, and not a great deal coming in (DF hasn't had a lot of work this week, and I have been sick a day and had two days off from public holidays). So the stimulus money ($900 for me and $900 for DF) will help keep it up at a normal level for a little while until we start earning a bit more again.

Come to think of it, I have been the main earner since we moved in to our new house. DF worked one day last week, so he only earnt $200. And consistently, the whole time we've been paying the mortgage, I have earnt more than him. However, that is only because Feb & March are typically slower months for tradesmen, and being a small business DF's dad can't afford to pay for hours that aren't worked. My mum asked me, when I mentioned DF only earnt $200 this week, "oh, how is that going to be for you guys though...?" I replied, "we don't spend more than we have, if it's not there, it's not there."
But, there will be weeks where DF will work 60 hours and rake in $1500 a week - which I could never do at my job. *sigh*
Of course, having the surplus $10k is making it easier Big Grin but my aim is to have that, and more, in there at all times.

4 Responses to “seeking some advice: money from my dad”

  1. L Saver Says:

    I'm not a parent, so I'll let the others give you advice about your dad. But I totally hear you about the high heels. I love my heels, but until my feet go slightly numb, I am pretty miserable. I keep hoping that maybe I just haven't found the right pair of heels? Until then, I mostly stick to flats, ballet slippers, etc Smile

  2. NJDebbie Says:

    You are very thoughtful! I think you did a wonderful job wording the email you hope to send him. If he insists on continuing to send you the money, honor it and maybe put it towards the principal of your house or put it away and give it to your little sister when she starts college.

  3. miclason Says:

    I think what you wrote would be a nice email. As a mom, I'd probably get a bit teary eyed at thinking my baby doesn't need me anymore, but, at the same time, I'd feel proud to have raised her into such a considerate young woman...

    good luck, and let us know how it goes!
    (oh, and if Dad continues to deposit, then NJ Debbie's idea of saving it for a going to college present for your sis sounds wonderful!)

  4. Broken Arrow Says:

    I'm not sure if I could speak for all dads, but I think your father would be very proud (and perhaps slightly relieved) for you to tell him that. An email should be fine, and perhaps even preferred since your intentions will be clear, in writing. Well done. Smile

Leave a Reply

(Note: If you were logged in, we could automatically fill in these fields for you.)
Will not be published.

* Please spell out the number 4.  [ Why? ]

vB Code: You can use these tags: [b] [i] [u] [url] [email]