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disappointed (not financial)

March 31st, 2009 at 01:42 am

Last week I heard from my mums partner that my mum kept him awake all night because she had been drinking - she was singing, shouting and talking in riddles (as she does) all night.

(She does this every so often - but usually not all night - only for a few hours).

The next day was a day I am meant to work at the home office there. I did not know any of the events from the night before, so when I got to work my mum was in a bad mood and still in her pajamas.

I had to go and clean our rental house a bit and let the flea control guy in, so when I got back, mum's partner was there. He asked me if I could please work from home that day as they had some things to work out.

DF told me that night what had happened, and so it all made sense. When I went to work the next day, I heard my mum and her partner talking about a meeting that my mum had to go to. I finally figured out it was an AA meeting.

I can't tell you how excited I was that she was finally going! It has taken literally YEARS to get some her to take sort of recognition of her problem, let alone convincing her she is WRONG and that she needs to DO something about it. She always says she will 'see' someone. It has sadly never gone beyond that step, the promise of 'seeing someone'. So I was excited that not only (again) had she said she would see someone, but that there was intent to GO to an AA meeting. As in, they knew the times and the place!

Anyway, long story short the next night we had dinner at our place for my sister going away - and my mum had already had a few drinks, and was drinking while she was there.

I can tell you, I was not a happy camper. I really did think that maybe something might be done about it this time - but instead nothing was done. Again.

I just feel disappointed. I am not even SAD about it anymore, I am just angry, personally.

But I am indeed sad for my mum's partner. After 10 years (approx???) you would think any other guy would just walk out. He has had to deal with a lot of issues. He has had to care for and provide for mum, myself and my younger brother and sister. He has been hit by my mum and yelled at, and she has left him numerous times only for him to welcome her back when she sobers up. Sure, he gets angry sometimes, and we always got in trouble for little tiny things - but I just can't believe how much he has absorbed from my mum but has never left.

Anyway I am really sorry to vent and burden everyone here, but you all seem so understanding every time I do have troubles. And I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest.

4 Responses to “disappointed (not financial)”

  1. debtfreeme Says:

    I have had an alcoholic in my life for 17 years.

    It has taken me 15 years to admit he has a problem (i onyl saw him once a year).

    It will probably take him years to admit it to himself. There are periods of time that he is sober then there is the inevitable slide back down.

    I wish you strength, hope, peace and lots of patence as your family works through this.

    By the way, i think you are a very good big sister.

  2. whitestripe Says:

    thankyou debtfreeme Smile i am sorry you have to deal with someone like my mum too. i would not wish it on anyone.

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    I understand the disappointment. I have a friend who keeps saying he's quit drinking. He's not an acting-out alcoholic; it doesn't affect our friendship, but there are numerous health reasons he needs to quit, and so I really want him to so he can be healthier. Every time he comes over a few days after saying he's quit, asks where the vodka is, and pours himself a large serving, I'm disappointed all over again.

  4. gamecock43 Says:

    My mother drank a lot too and it is so uncomfortable to be around. That sucks. And kudos to her partner for making it 10 yrs.

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