My friend, A, told me the other day that she had gotten a call from a male friend of hers. They have known each other for about 8 years.
My friend is not in a relationship and has not been in one for a while. She lives with her parents and is doing an apprenticeship (doesn't earn a lot).
Her friend, lets call him T, recently broke up with his boyfriend and lives alone. He's fairly well off financially.
T asked A if she would have a baby with him. He said to her that she was they only one that he would ask something like this of. 'Don't worry about money. You can put your apprenticeship on hold and I'll make it so you don't have to work for a year.'
A was understandably a little shocked. T said 'Think about it for a day. I'll call you tomorrow and then on the weekend I'll come up and visit you so we can talk. I have made some enquiries and there's a clinic that will do the procedure.'
(T lives a few hours drive away)
So A told me about it. Sure it's a little odd but it's kind of sweet that her friend wants to have a baby with her, and I already know that A wants children but doesn't really see them in her future at this time.
Fast forward a day. T calls A to talk about it. A has already decided it's not something that she wants to do, but was going to thank him for thinking of her anyway. They talked for a while, and it came out that no, they would not technically be having the baby together. He wanted her to give birth and then hand it over! She said no, thankyou. She was a little shocked that he expected her to do this for him and then not be able to have any part of her baby's life. 'It's legal' he protested, 'I'll be getting a solicitor to write it up and everything'. She still said no, told him to have a lovely new years, and hung up.
My question is, is it a little odd, or a little mean, or just plain rude? I mean, knowing that your friend has wanted to be a mother for many many years, and then asking of her a favour like that? Just because she usually does nice things for people? I have only known this girl for about a year and a half, and I know this about her. T has known her for 8 years. He obviously knows that if anyone would do it, she would. Which I think means he is trying to take advantage of her kindness. I just think it's a bit ... I don't know. Selfish?
is this odd or is it just me?
January 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 pm
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