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Home > i am getting sick of those anonymous comments.. (rant!)

i am getting sick of those anonymous comments.. (rant!)

December 30th, 2008 at 08:40 am

... anonymous comments that just put people down for sharing something on their blog, and often don't take into consideration the full story. I know lots of people on here are annoyed at them, am I right?

I just delete them basically straight away, but I still find it tragic that the person feels the need to force their views on someone anonymously (it strikes me as very cowardly) and talk in the tone that think they know everything, or know better than the person compared to who they just commented on.

My most recent one: (normally I wouldn't bother, but I wanted to explain this anyway so no one else gets the wrong idea about my state of mind) a comment on a previous entry about my flatmate getting pregnant, and my observation on how a lot of our friends are pregnant, and that it would be nice to have kids when your friends have kids so that they can grow up together. The comment said something along the lines of (not in the same words) 'yeah get pregnant because all your friends are, great idea, NOT!!!'.

Anyway, I just wanted to explain some things.

Firstly, I'm not planning on having children any time soon. I would like to be atleast a little financially set up first. I would like to be confident that I can stay home for atleast a year, if not until the child goes to primary school. I'm not particularly fond of daycare.

I would ideally like to plan to some extent, when I have a baby. I don't mean the specific date, or even the season. I mean our age, our location of living etc. I mean, I would like to be able to talk to my partner and say 'maybe we should start thinking about starting a family soon' etc etc.
I would like to be in the right state of mind, and welcome the idea of pregnancy and family.
Another pro at planning is that I can ensure that I am 100% healthy before and during the early stages of pregnancy, which are proven to be the most important in feotal development. Even though it's not entirely necessary - well, it hasn't been proven conclusively - BF has said he too would like to make sure he was completely healthy and had consumed no alcohol from the moment of 'trying for' a baby.
I don't care about having a baby 'when my friends have babies'. I said it would be nice. But that was ONLY in the context of an observation I made about FIVE FRIENDS HAVING CHILDREN IN THE SAME YEAR.

I'm not a 16 year old getting clucky and wanting to have a baby with my bucktoothed, jobless fling who lives in a trailer. Nor am I some ditzy housewife who has images in my head of 'mothers group' consisting of all my friends, birthday parties where they all play together just so we can 'socialise and drink wine and eat cheese together'.

The only reason I would want our friends children growing up with my children is because I know that my friends have the same values and morals as we do, and that I would trust our friends with our children, and vice versa.

Another point I wanted to make was that, besides myself (can I make the point AGAIN that I am not planning on having children for awhile?), all of our friends, who are having children, are the ages of: 25 & 32, 29 & 31, 28 & 30, 28 & 28, 27 & 31. So they are not exactly making irrational decisions, immature decisions etc. With the exception of my flatmate and her BF, all of these couples have been together for 6 + years, most of them 10+ years.


ME2 wanted to make some snide comment on a post of mine to make me look immature and stupid. I am hoping the rest of you don't think I am that stupid, and that you all understand where I am coming from. I don't particularly care what ME2 has to say on this post and it's highly likely that their comment will be deleted anyway. I mainly wrote this post for those of you who share your opinions honestly and openly with me. So thankyou for reading.

end rant!

6 Responses to “i am getting sick of those anonymous comments.. (rant!)”

  1. fern Says:

    You sound very sensible about the whole thing, and that's the way i'd want to do it too, as a "planned" event that you can prepare for, to the extent possible.

    Having a built-in network of childhood friends sounds great to me.

  2. Ms. Pearl Says:

    I hate those anonymous comments too. I have had a couple. I don't think you even need to explain yourself but since you did I agree with what fern said.

  3. Ima saver Says:

    I have a few local people who follow me over to this forum and make snide remarks about me. None of them have a dime to their names and are so jealous they have to stalk me everywhere I post. Don't give them a thought!

  4. clubneary Says:

    Don't let it get to you. People just read what they want to read and don't give much thought as to where you are coming from when they make comments like that.

    I thought the same way before I had my kids. It is great when your kids are close in age to your friends or relatives kids. My DD and nephew are only 3 months apart and it is great!

  5. North Georgia Gal Says:

    I hate those negative comments too. I have had a couple that just made me feel bad. The reason I post is for the support and making negative comments about my decisions doesn't help me much.

    Apparently what ME2 doesn't realize is that although you say something would be nice doesn't mean that you plan on doing it without any thought. It would be nice to buy a LARGE yacht and sale around the world, but that doesn't mean that I am going to do it, because it would not be practical. I am constantly telling my kids I would like to move, like a new car, etc, but that doesn't mean we are doing any of it!

    Good for you for having a plan and knowing what is best for YOU! As you have children and they get involved in activities, you will meet other parents that have similar beliefs as you whose kids will be the same age. It isn't always easy to find them, but they are there!

  6. gamecock43 Says:

    I understood what you were explaining the first time I read it days ago. Those of us who read your stuff regularly can read between the lines and match your personality to your sentences. The nasty comments come from stumblers who have never read your stuff before.

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