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have you ever been judged by someone with no right to judge you?

October 12th, 2011 at 02:00 am

I guess lately I've been in a bit of a dark mood. With my hours cut and 50+ applications for jobs out there and no result, Christmas looming (for DH, it means no work for atleast 2 weeks if not several months, trade usually slows down after December) and our TTC plans hanging precariously on a thin thread, there's not a lot to be positive about. Every time I step into work I have to fake smile, and of course when you don't like your job, work is about ten times harder.
I don't like to burden my friends and family with my worries and problems, so I keep them somewhat internal. Usually, I could unload on my best friend - she does the same with me, so it's mutual. But I can't this time, because my reduced hours are due to her getting full-time at work. I want to be happy for her, and I am, but I don't want to make her feel bad so I can't talk much to her about what I'm going through right now. I don't like subjecting people to my black moods, so my excuse is often 'uni assignments...'. Plus, I have to cut my 'coffee with friends' expenses to $0 now. Add onto that, I want to limit fuel consumption, so I don't drive anywhere other than to work!
I feel like a hermit! But it's my own fault. Eventually things will be ok again, but at the moment, I just feel like hibernating. Is that so bad?

Anyway, onto the point of my post. My initial rambling did have a point though: I've been in a bit of a bad mood lately. And so I get annoyed quickly. I have to vent somewhere.

When I lived with my SIL and DH 3 years ago, she was the messiest person I have ever lived with. We had a roster system where we all took turns doing a chore, for example, I do the dishes, then it's DH's turn, then it's SIL's turn, and for vaccuuming, we figured it would be easier if one of us did it one week, then the next week, the next person, etc.

She would leave the dishes for three days before doing them. The bin would be overflowing before she emptied it. She vaccumed ONCE in the year and a half we lived together, because she would conveniently 'forget' until it was the next week, and so the next persons turn.
She was at tafe studying fashion, so the dining room table and the coffee table was always covered in pieces of fabric and magazines, the floor littered with offcuts, thread, pieces of magazine. When she moved out, she didn't even clean the windows or vaccuum her room, or the spare room where she kept all her stuff. She left it covered in rubbish. When she made herself something to eat, she'd leave crumbs all over the bench, chopping board and knife etc. Wouldn't wipe it, wouldn't even put it near the sink.
And she had the nerve to complain about how her courseload was overwhelming, but every time I saw her, she'd be literally lying on the couch, watching television. Apparently she would 'flick through magazines for cuttings, while watching tv for background noise'. LOL. I'm sure that's what she thought she was doing...

Anyway. So, since having two kids in the space of two years, suddenly she's realised you have to keep on top of cleaning otherwise you're living in a cesspit (also probably because no one else does it for her...). They live out in the sticks, clean air, nice property, etc etc. Nothing like suburbia. When they visited and stayed for a night, a few weeks ago, she had a stuffy nose. She went on and on about it. 'Maybe it's the cobwebs, you know, keeping the dust'. Implying our house wasn't clean.
For some reason, this really irked me. This is a woman who, three years ago, didn't lift a finger unless she absolutely HAD to. Suddenly she's the domestic goddess?? Excuse me?

DH bought a cobweb-duster thing for $2.99 at the discount store, and I swiped it around the corners of the roof. You know what? Hardly any cobwebs at all.

I feel judged! By someone who really has no right at all to judge me! Argh. Have you ever felt like this?

Anyway, of course they leave with their two kids, our house a mess. Crumbs everywhere. Doesn't offer to sweep or anything. Thanks a lot.

Anyway. They are staying again this weekend, for one night. It is my MISSION to have the house SPARKLING. Even though I have two assignments approaching deadline, and exams in three weeks... my house is going to be spotless if it kills me.

Sigh. Why do I do it to myself?!

3 Responses to “have you ever been judged by someone with no right to judge you?”

  1. Looking Forward Says:

    Maybe you should make your house even messier and say you've been FAR TOO busy to get anything done, but you'd sure like her help because she's so GOOD at such things. Big Grin
    I mean she's staying over and I'm sure she wants to be a good guest, right?

    And if you don't want to try the above tactic Wink- I would not kill myself cleaning and just try to let her comment go. I am sure it's just the state of mind you're in making it seem worse.

  2. ceejay74 Says:

    Oh I love it. We should all give you our cattiest ideas, and you can use whichever ones you feel like (or just have a chuckle and then take the high road Smile ).

    Mine would be, lightheartedly, "Oh my goodness, the last time you were here it almost made me rethink trying to have children. There was so much MESS everywhere after you left! Why, I was cleaning for HOURS! I'm sure you did what you could, but it was just so filthy, I couldn't believe it! Maybe you're just used to that level of mess, living with kids and all."

  3. baselle Says:

    I'd say nothing. Just hang the cobweb duster off the ceiling of the guest room. Make sure the tip of it is placed high, but directly over her head.

    MEOW. Big Grin

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