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Home > hmmph, over it already.

hmmph, over it already.

November 24th, 2010 at 02:53 am

This party planning business, that is. I started to research the cost that we're going to be looking at, and although I was initially thrilled at hall rental prices (around $20-$80 a day, depending on which one), I then started to research the price of catered finger-food. Basically, I think we're looking at roughly $500-$1000 for food, and I'm not even sure if that includes waitstaff.
I don't have any problems asking the guests to bring their own alcohol, but I do think we should supply the food. Simply because some of these people will be travelling hours to get here, and also it's not feasible to ask them to bring a plate because of that reason as well - and we have already ruled out having this thing at a restaurant (too many people to organise having it at a 'nice' restaurant, and restaurants seem to jack up the price at the mere SMELL of the word 'wedding' etc).
I imagine that there are a million other things that will incur 'hidden costs' that I haven't even begun to think of. I am not particularly skilled in visualising a 'theme' or the 'decor' for an event, those types of things - I just don't see the point, so when someone asks me something along those lines, my mind goes blank. Do people really notice ribbons, chair coverings, sashes, balloons, candles, flowers, table cloths? I don't - but that doesn't mean other people don't. (Though, I wish they wouldn't...)
I *realise* that wedding gifts will probably cover the cost of this thing, but that's not really important. I just hate organising stuff like this, and I don't see the point in a lot of it.

And I feel like I should be organising something fancy because people will get disappointed when they arrive, expecting something that it is most definately NOT. And then I get angry! Because I think, why should I be stressing out over someone elses expectations? Why are people placing these expectations on us in the first place? What's so wrong with the world where something intimate is turned into a public show to be judged and compared?

I understand it's a big dream for a lot of girls, but I can take it or leave it.

A friend suggested a wedding planner - yeah, I think not. I can just imagine them trying to cram a whole heap of junk down my throat and charging me an exhorbitant amount for the service. Or taking one look at my 'plan' and running for the door.

Anyway. Long story short, this is me venting. :/

7 Responses to “hmmph, over it already. ”

  1. miclason Says:

    Here in El Salvador, catering prices include the plates, tablecoths and 2 waiters for your event. No idea how it is in the US.

    I donīt see how your friends could be disappointed, if they are traveling to see a wedding and you two DO get married!... Yes, people notice, unfortunately. But, fortunately the people that love you know all that is just fluff.. plus, even if you do it, it doesn{t have to be too expensive! OH, and if you want them to know this isnīt one of those over the top affairs, choose an invitation that is very simple... I have received invitations that consisted of no less than 6 different pieces...embossed, engraved in gold, the envelope closed with a gossamer ribbon... you take one look at those and you know the wedding is just going to be crazy!

  2. Looking Forward Says:

    There is nothing wrong with a simple but tasteful party. Simple pretty invites, choose your colors for paper plates, napkins and tableclothes. A few simple accents like balloons and confetti or candles and flower petals on the tables go a long way. Here in the US you can get platters of finger foods made up at grocery stores or places like Costco. Maybe you can get friends to help put them together for you. Cheese and bread, lunch meats, crackers and dip, veggies and dip, fruit, etc. could all be set out by you. The day is really about celebrating you and your DH, not how fancy the food is. Don't stress out yet! Smile

  3. scfr Says:

    What did I miss? I thought you weren't having a big wedding?

  4. MonkeyMama Says:

    Just don't get too caught up in what you think everyone else wants.

    For our reception, the venue was free (it was BEAUTIFUL). My mom went crazy with flowers, which I could care less about. The food was expensive, yes, but came with the wait staff. Really, the only big money we spend was food. The place was very elegant, but we didn't have to pay for it.

    I suppose my advice would be to keep it simple. From my experience, it is easy to keep it simple and frugal. I didn't want to organize a big affair, so I didn't. I found a nice location, hired them to do the food, my mom bought some flowers, and that was all there was to it. (Getting the cost down on the food will take more work, is all). As far as decor? Find a place with nice decor. I suppose we may have gotten to choose table clothe colors, but I really don't remember it being a big ordeal. (I mean, believe me, we looked at placed that nickel and dimed for chair covers and stuff like that. I just refused to pay for all that stuff). Meanwhile, I could care less if we had a table clothe color choice, where we ended up.

  5. baselle Says:

    Aim for simple, basic and intimate - in my mind you can't go wrong with that. One of the better weddings that I attended in the most recent past was a 40 person affair, very simple and intimate. Basic white decorations, neat, clean, not fussy. Most of the wedding party had to fly cross-country from New York City to Seattle, but I didn't hear any compliants along the lines of "I flew all this way and I got only this?"

    Also, try to take advantage of your knowledge. For example, since you are a baker, you probably can get a line on a cake apart from the caterer...perhaps even make it yourself.

  6. Homebody Says:

    You don't have to do anything you don't want to! However, if you want some ideas, look at my daughter's blog under category weddings:


    I especially love Liz and Jason's colors and theme. Maddy and John had a very elegant cake.

    Good luck and enjoy your day. For YD's wedding, we had the same venue as Cassie and what's his name, Arrington Apples. She did everything for YD's wedding and it was very nice.

  7. whitestripe Says:

    thanks guys. we are working some things out and have come up with a few ideas which will cost less than a catered event. my best friend is helping me. (I will post more at a later time)

    SCFR: my previous post explains our change of mind on the whole issue. me, I'm not thrilled, but I'm also not the only one in the relationship - so we have decided to compromise: still doing the 'just us' thing on 15th Feb, and then a few months later having a 'party' in a rented hall for friends and family. and if certain individuals start problems, I plan to ignore them. Big Grin this way I don't have to worry about having the day we get married ruined by family members who can't slap a smile on their face for a few hours - and DF still gets to have family and friends together who WILL have fun (and the sourpusses can sit in the corner - or decline the invitation...)

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