Everyone draws their inspiration from something, whether it be from travelling, other cultures, books, certain people, movies, stories etc.

I draw a lot of inspiration from my father. Not because he is extraordinary - well, of course he is, he's my dad! - but in the sense that the life he has created with my stepmum and step sister is so normal and calm. Whenever I visit them, which is usually once a year, or once every two years, I immerse myself in their day to day life. It is so far from what I have grown up with, around my mother, and so far from an average persons day-to-day, rushed, stressful, daily grind kind of life as well.

When I think about how I want my life to turn out, there are a number of things I can associate with that my dad and his family practise. When I visit, I just feel wholesome and relaxed. It is hard to explain why or what it is that makes me feel this way - but I would have to say the number one thing is that they take things slowly.
They enjoy their time. I don't see them rush through anything. They do not just do something to get through it, so that they can do something else. They are never focused on achieving a hundred things a day.
And I don't mean to say that they have a lot of time to spare, either.
My dad commutes four to five hours a day. He leaves their house, in the country, on the train, at 6.05am. He works in the city, Monday to Friday. He gets home at 8.10pm, in time to read my step sister a story, tuck her in and give her a kiss goodnight.

My stepmum works from home. She is able to organise her day so that she can drive my stepsister to the after school activities that are planned. My stepmum cooks dinner during the week. On the weekend, she sometimes works as well.

There is not a hint of fast food consumption in their house. They enjoy good wine but only on special occasions. The thing that I love most I think, is their moderation. It is a far cry from my life with my mother, where everything is excessive - as most of you have read about. And while I can't blame my mum, I know that I don't want to follow in her footsteps in that department.

My dad spends the weekends with my stepsister. He gardens, does handyman stuff, goes grocery shopping and visits friends for a cup of coffee. He spends a few hours each week cooking different batches of curries and bakes and bean mixes from scratch, so that he can freeze them for easy dinners when his wife doesn't get time to cook.

They have an amazing kitchen. It is not technologically advanced, not typically modern in any way. But they have such a large and varied list of ingredients, a lot of it is influenced by Eastern, Chinese and Japanese traditional foods. They both love to cook, and from scratch.

So while they have a lot on their plate, they still maintain an aura of calm that I can't seem to figure out. I have come to think that maybe this is just because they are happy.

And that is where I get my inspiration from. Every single time I visit my dad, I come back bursting with ideas on how I want to shape my life better. I don't want to change it, I don't want to re-shape it, I just want to mold it a little bit more. Simple things, I want to change. Things that, when I see, I go, hey that's cool. Things that are so small, but that in my life here, I seem so rushed that I have not considered it.

I guess maybe my fathers side of the family is more of a tightly knit unit. There are not a lot of outside influences, and this probably makes them closer. They enjoy their time, and they enjoy their time with each other.

Like I said, a lot of the things they do that make that tiny bit of difference to their day to day lives, are small things. They are small, but added together, they make a lifestyle, and it's a lifestyle that I admire, because of its simplicity.

Like brewing tea in a tea-pot, with loose, good quality tea leaves instead of an old stale tea bag.
Taking the time to prepare the tea, and letting it brew. It's a methodical and relaxing process.
Like having one or two cups of delicious espresso, instead of four cups of badly burned coffee made with cheap ground beans.
Taking your time to cook a meal, listening to some music and enjoying the process, instead of hurriedly throwing together something that resembles food.
Taking the time to cook from a recipe book once in a while.
Using fresh ingredients. Using spices and fresh herbs. Growing your own herbs.
Setting the table, sitting with your loved ones, tasting the food and enjoying the company, instead of wolfing down your meal in front of the tv.
Inviting friends over for a meal that you have taken a few hours to lovingly prepare and cook, instead of going out to a crappy restaurant.
Making meals and desserts together - sharing in the experience.
Playing boardgames and cards instead of watching television.
Listening to people. Actually listening and not just sitting there waiting for your turn to speak.
Taking the time to meet people, know people, and visit them. Make friends, and be friendly. Be generous. It doesn't have to be with money. Lend a hand to a neighbour. Check up on an old friend. Bake biscuits for your grandparents. Make a birthday card and deliver it to a friend. Invite old friends for meals and cups of tea. Have sewing days for your kids.
Be organised and have a process. Put things away. If you're surrounded by clutter and mess, you feel more stressed.
Don't worry yourself with keeping up. Life will go on even if you aren't up to date with gossip, or have the newest and latest of things.
Buy things that you like. Things that make you happy. Not just because someone else tells you that you need them, or because everyone else has one.
Consider what you purchase. Consider the impact on the environment. Where it was made and by whom. What you need it for. The quality of the item.
Resist the fast-paced world outside. Things move at a mile a minute out there, but it doesn't mean that you have to as well.

Like I said, it is so different from how I have grown up with my mother, feeling like myself and my younger siblings are in the way. Having to look after ourselves, not being able to talk to our mum because she is busy (and then have her yell at us that we don't talk to her anymore). I guess most of all, feeling valued is an important thing that I get from my fathers side of my family, more than my mothers.