First of all, is it weird to want to go halves with DF on an engagement ring?
It is for me, after all.
And we're joining our finances. So technically we'll be going halves anyway. Isn't it better to just do it together from the get-go? I mean, I *DO* all the finances. I am going to find out how much it cost, and where he gets it from.
Also, secondly, I have some issues with the amount of money it will cost.
DF casually asked his best friend, who is engaged to DF's sister, how much their ring cost him. (I have no idea how you can casually ask this, but he managed to).
$2500!
I don't know, is it just me or is that a lot? I mean, I am AWARE that LOTS of people pay thousands and thousands for engagement rings, but to be honest, we are ordinary folk.
I just... I don't know. I feel WEIRD expecting something like that. I would feel so STRESSED wearing something that cost that amount.
I said to DF (before I knew how much DF's sisters cost) that I'd be fine with whatever, as long as it was made to last, a couple of hundred dollars max, and I DON'T WANT A DIAMOND.
Even after finding out how much the other ring cost, I am still ok with the amount that I already said - but then I get pangs of doubt. Is it just because I'm trying to keep up with the Jones's? I realise I'm only stressing out now because I found out how much someone elses was. But I'm not stressing out in the normal way. I'm not saying 'I want you to spend $3k on my ring'. I'm now stressing out because I am thinking that's what is expected, and it ANNOYS me!
Is this weird?
Are we MEANT to spend that much? I just don't get it. It's really not important to me. I just want a nice plain ring with a ruby or something. It doesn't have to be all jazzed up. It doesn't have to have ten million stones on it or any fancy design. It can be one of those antique ones, too. It doesn't have to be 'made' for me.
Am I supposed to be more fussy than this?
I am having a severe i-don't-think-i'm-being-girly-enough attack. and i realise also that it's stupid. but it's still happening!!!
am i being a weird freaky non-girly person?
January 27th, 2009 at 04:01 am
January 27th, 2009 at 04:17 am 1233029826
January 27th, 2009 at 04:17 am 1233029869
January 27th, 2009 at 04:30 am 1233030633
plus, i work, i can feed myself lol!
January 27th, 2009 at 04:36 am 1233031019
I never really wanted a diamond and I don't want to spend a lot on an engagement ring. Personally, I wouldn't want to spend more than about $800 on a ring. Spend what feels right for you- no matter how little it may cost.
January 27th, 2009 at 04:56 am 1233032203
In my mind the ring is a symbol - a statement - showing that you have pledged your heart to someone so don't intrude. A simple gold band with *maybe* a small fake diamond (zirchonian??) is more than statement enough.
So in other words, no, you're not being a freaky non-girly person. You are being smart!
January 27th, 2009 at 05:08 am 1233032933
It's the marriage that's important, and the way you feel, not the stone.
January 27th, 2009 at 05:12 am 1233033139
January 27th, 2009 at 06:49 am 1233038991
January 27th, 2009 at 01:23 pm 1233062621
January 27th, 2009 at 01:32 pm 1233063161
January 27th, 2009 at 03:07 pm 1233068874
January 27th, 2009 at 03:16 pm 1233069392
We had a lot of money when we got married and I got a simple/elegant diamond band in the $1k range, for the wedding ring. I regret it now. I only got it because I thought we had to have diamonds. I never would have bought a diamond ring otherwise. I have met quite a few people since who have simple bands (no diamond engagement ring even) and I wish that's what we did. I don't know why I didn't think about it more carefully - kind of went with the herd in some regard.
So I think you should do what YOU want to do!
January 27th, 2009 at 03:16 pm 1233069401
January 27th, 2009 at 05:11 pm 1233076285
I worked any and all overtime I could get. I was working a second job at the time as well as doing moving jobs. Needless to say I was exhausted. The look on my wife's face when she got the finished product was worth every penny to me. She still comments from time to time how much she loves it even after all these years.
Halfsies? Nah I could not go that way! But that is just me!
January 27th, 2009 at 05:51 pm 1233078716
January 27th, 2009 at 05:55 pm 1233078918
January 27th, 2009 at 07:05 pm 1233083121
We bought beautiful, simple matching titanium bands for all three of us at a museum store. They were about $70 apiece. I paid for them (as in, I put them on the credit card, as was my style back in the day :/ ). We wore them to signify our engagement, then pulled them off the morning of the ceremony and put them back on one another's fingers as part of our vows.
Was the symbolism any less because we didn't follow any rules? It sure felt deeply significant to me. I love looking at my ring and thinking about what it means.
January 27th, 2009 at 09:06 pm 1233090373
I told him I only wanted a pretty single eternity band for a wedding ring without the engagement ring. I like diamonds but I would be pretty upset if he paid so much for one(s) when I rather have something else for us.
Funny thing is that when we announced that we were engaged, everyone kept asking to see my ring. I explained nicely that we were planning to use only the wedding band out of preference. Hubby for some reason felt bad as he was hearing the comments from others while it didn't bother me. This prompted him to surprise me with an inexpensive diamond solitaire ring for Christmas. I was shocked and happy and disappointed all at the same time. Happy because he wanted to do something nice and it is a pretty ring but somewhat disappointed because I really just wanted to wear the eternity band alone and I think he may have felt like I was not being honest with what I wanted because I ask for less than what most women would want. I am a simple girl. (I just do not let my hubby know this).
I now wear the diamond eternity band my my wedding finger and the solitaire on my right hand. I live in a society (Silicon Valley) where diamonds smaller than 2K is considered small. My solitaire is only 1/4k and total diamonds on my eternity band is .80k.
I get comments on the eternity band all the time. It looks really pretty in a refreshing “less is more” way.
January 28th, 2009 at 12:39 am 1233103168
Get what you want. For 5 years I only wore my rings when I left the house, which is every day now! I also have a story of losing them all for several weeks, a nephew finding them all on my mother's lawn....can't believe I got them all back.....
January 28th, 2009 at 01:46 pm 1233150371