I know this is not financial, but it is really frustrating me and I have to get it out somewhere. And I know a lot of you are parents, and a few of you are step-parents, so I hope I can get either some insight or understanding on this matter.

To be honest, this issue does not even concern me. The only way it relates to me is that it is about a friend - and it is annoying me. So I realise I should stick my nose elsewhere - but that is exactly what I'm doing - I'm sticking it here!

Anyway.

So, I have this friend (the same one I mentioned that has an addiction to gambling and racked up $2k on her credit card doing so). Let's call her E.

E has been with her partner N for nearly 3 years. They have two boys together, a 2 year old and 8 month old. N has an 11 year old son from a previous relationhip. The 11yo lives with his mother and visits E & N on some weekends and some holidays.

E does not like the 11yo boy. I guess it probably stems from the 11yo not initially warming to her. She is not nice to him, doesn't include him in things with the other two boys etc etc.

Obviously this has gotten back to the mother of the 11yo and she is not happy about the situation. It has caused strain on the relationship between the two exes and strain between N and E, as N does not like the way E treats his son either.

The 11yo forgets things sometimes, and leaves them at N & E's house. The mother of 11yo gets annoyed at this and has told him if he keeps forgetting things he won't be allowed to visit his father and will have to do day-trips, as they live far apart and it is a hassle to retrieve the things he forgets. N offered to post any items his son forgets, so that it doesn't cause the mother hassle and he still gets to see his son.
In light of this knowledge, E now HIDES things that 11yo forgets, in the hopes that he gets in trouble so he doesn't visit.

Apparently this has all been going on for quite a while, and a mutual friend just told me the other day that the mother of 11yo (so - N's ex) sent E an email. In it she suggested they meet face to face as they never have before, sort out their differences so that 11yo can have a good relationship with his father. She went on to say that she is unhappy with the way that E treats her son, and that he should not be excluded the way he is, that E should behave like an adult and accept that 11yo is a part of her family. She also said that she thinks E might have postnatal depression and that she would really like to help her out with any issues she might be facing. She then said if this cannot be worked out then for the well being of her son she will be forced to stop N seeing his son, as E's negative attitude towards him is affecting his self-esteem.

E's reaction to this email, she sent in a text message to our mutual friend, was that 'how dare she speak to me like that and tell me what I am thinking. Post natal depression, what a load of rubbish. I am NOT meeting with her, and her son is NOT a part of my family so why should I treat him like it? And really, it's no bother to me if 11yo never visits again anyway, so why do I care?'
To make matters worse, the father, N, has no idea any of this is going on. He probably only sees the tip of the iceberg, when E excludes his son in front of his eyes - and he does pick E up on it when he sees it. So he thinks he is putting a stop to it, but in fact it is so far from the truth.


----------------------------

Is it just me, or is this friend of mine being a horrible, selfish, insensitive, uncaring b****?
The sad thing is that she doesn't know I know any of the latest developments, and I know that she won't talk about it with me because we don't really talk about subjects like that - we are not really close. But I am disappointed because the one person she has chosen to tell, our mutual friend, is one of those types that will never say what is on her mind and will just agree with E to keep the peace.
So, even though we are not close, it still really affects me because I keep thinking about it and feeling sad for that poor little 11 year old boy who is stuck in the middle of all this.

It seems like every couple of weeks I hear something E has done or is doing, and I lose a little bit more respect for her each time. Honestly now, I don't think I could stand to look at her. *sigh*

Why do people do these things? What exactly is going through their minds that makes them think what they're doing is alright?

It's definately getting to summer temperatures here. On Sunday it topped 37C, Monday was apparently 36C (though at work it is always a good few degrees hotter - blergh) and today I saw it was 34C. No doubt once summer is in full swing temps will be around 40C. Yuck.

DF bought a home brew kit on the weekend. He drinks one or two beers every day, so this will definately be a money saver in the long term. The kit cost $99.95 and you are able to make 23L of beer with everything included, and after that you just have to buy the sugar/yeast etc. DF's uncle also brews his own beer. He and his wife have gotten their costs down to 30c per 375ml bottle over the years.

I don't drink beer (or other alcohol for that matter) regularly, but I don't mind the occasional one in the hotter months. So, this can only be a money saver in the end!

A friend recently gave us the first season of Dexter to borrow.
I had seen the first episode when it first aired, but it was on too late for me to watch it regularly and I wanted to watch it all the way through, so we purposely haven't watched any more of it since the first show.

We watched the first season in two days.

One of the (many) things we like to spend money on is series on DVD. DF hates advertisements on television and I don't like watching whole movies on weeknights because it leaves me little time to do anything else.

I was looking on eBay to try and find the best price for the second season, and realised it was cheaper to buy season 1, 2 and 3 together. The cheapest I could find was $120 including postage.

Then I realised we set our DVD player to region free a few years ago, so I started looking in other countries.

I found series 1, 2 and 3 for $66.92 (US$61.95) with FREE postage from the US.

After some questions with the seller I decided to buy it, when I discovered that we already had $69.72 in our Paypal account (which I had forgotten about).

Even though it WASN'T free, it certainly feels like it.

I have two skincare products to sell on eBay this month too. I am hoping to buy Californication season 1 with that money. I also want to get True Blood. All of our friends have been going on about it, and someone even copied the discs for us but they didn't work. So eh. We can wait for that one, but I'd still like to see it eventually.

Lately I have been feeling the pressure to have a baby. It is not something on my mind every day, but I do more often than not get the comment 'oh, so when are you guys going to...?' when we are in large groups, whether it be friends or family.

Funnily enough, it does not occur as regularly (actually - hardly at all) in DF's group of friends - who are the group with the massive amount of babies born this year (7 at last count...). And they are all aged between 28-32.

It mostly seems to be coming from family (which is no surprise) and MY friends - who are all around the same age as me (22). Excuse me? I know that all the studies and news articles are showing that people are having children later in life, but seriously, it does not look like this from my point of view. The only woman I can think of off the top of my head who has left children til a later stage in her life is my stepmother, who had my little sister at 39 - my little sister is now 11.

With all the pressure of 'When are you guys going to give us a niece/nephew/grandchild/great-grandchild?etc etc' or as one of my friends likes to ask rather crudely: 'when are you going to pop one out?' (I don't know why, but that statement makes me want to vomit), I know I have mentioned that DF has asked me a couple of times "When ARE we going to have a baby?" He is worried about being an old dad, worried about the health side of things, worried about timing etc etc. All this has had my mind whirring quite a bit.

On one hand I'd love to have children now - as disappointed as my dad would be to hear this, I really would not have a problem in the world being a SAHM for the next 10 years or so. I know that women are pushed to strive for 'more' than this, and sometimes it feels like an expectation, like a massive weight on my shoulders. I remember mentioning this once to our old flatmate (that I wouldn't mind being a stay at home mum) and GOSH, you could SMELL his contempt in the air. I was quite shocked really. Isn't the point of equality that people can CHOOSE what they want to do?
On the other hand I have the expectation that I'm meant to do something with my life before having children. Which I'm trying not to care too much about, simply because I'm meant to. Also, our financial situation is the biggest factor in our decision on when to have kids. It's aaaallll about the money. So it's a catch 22 really: I have to get a decent paying job to make the money, but I feel tired just thinking about it. At the same time and am annoyed that I have to do one thing to achieve the other, but I don't WANT to. LOL!

Anyway, getting back to my point. So I was feeling not quite stressed out, but rather perplexed at everything surrounding this issue.

So imagine my reaction yesterday, when DF arrived home at 5pm (early for him - normally it is 6pm or later). He got home, dunped his things in the hallway, opened a beer, sat at the table and flicked through some junk mail for 15 minutes while talking about his and my day. He then tinkered on his car for 10 minutes downstairs and played with Jed. After having a shower (leaving his clothes in a pile on the floor which he will probably pick up later in the night when he brushes his teeth) he opened another beer and said "You know, I really don't think I'm ready to have kids yet. I'm too lazy in the afternoons and I can't imagine having to do anything when I get home other than what I've just done, which is sweet F-A."

And then we talked about all the other things which we weren't ready for (finances, taking time off work, house renovations, time, the fact that we still like to party occasionally). So it was not JUST laziness that was the major factor - but you get my drift. I think DF's time, the time he takes for himself, is important to him and he just realised that he wouldn't have that anymore. When he does work full time, he leaves at 6am, gets home at 6pm or later and often has to work 6 days a week. And it's not really laziness that he's worried about - he's worried about not being a proper Dad. He WANTS to be there for his kids, he WANTS to be home in the afternoon and there on the weekends.

I think the pressure of all his friends having children, as well as family pressure (which is always going to be there) and the age issue were really bearing down on him. It was one of those instances where he really just woke up and realised that now is not the best time, and that while some people aren't lucky enough to be able to plan when they start a family, if we are, we should take advantage of that fact.

So that's something neither of us have to think about for a few more years

But to tell you the truth, we are getting along quite fine without it. Of course we WILL get it fixed eventually, but there are so many other things going on at the moment that it is not really high priority.

To be honest, FOOD is not really high priority at the moment. Last week I ate minestroni soup four nights in a row. Yep. And I will probably make a big batch of it again this week. It's easy, healthy, cheap, and I like it (delicious with a piece of a fresh baguette and some shaved parmesan). I made DF bolognaise sauce in the slowcooker which turned out well, and he has been having bbq's lots of nights.

This is all a bit of an about-turn for me, I love cooking and I like to cook different things each night too. But I think it's a combination of the weather (hot) and my energy levels (low) as well as all the things I seem to have to get done at the moment, which make cooking involved meals every night a little draining.

That's not to say that I will ever resort to pre-packaged meals or takeaway each night, or frozen dinners etc etc like a lot of people do who 'can't find the time to cook'. Even with limited cooking appliances in the kitchen, we still eat fresh organic vegetables and I cook from scratch - believe it or not the lack of a stove or oven actually makes things (mostly) easier because it greatly limits what you can do.

And you know actually, we have not had takeaway for over a month...! Everytime I think 'Gee, it would be nice to not have to cook dinner tonight' I think about the cost of the meal, the fact that I have to drive to go and get it, what they might put in it, the way I feel after eating it, the fact that I possibly might eat the whole container of basil tofu noodles instead of saving half for later...
And then I just steam some veges and rice. Boring, but cheap. Tastes pretty nice with a bit of soy sauce and a sprinkle of sesame seeds though.

Slow cookers, I have to say here, are amazing. And ever since my parents bought us the smaller one for our engagement, I am enjoying it a lot more. (The first one I bought was waaaay too big, ended up overcooking the food all the time.)

Menu Plan for the week:
Saturday: BBQ (for DF's bday party)
Sunday: Leftovers
Monday: Fresh rice paper wraps
Tuesday: Minestroni Soup
Wednesday: BBQ/Minestroni soup
Thursday: Grilled Veges & Tofu/Lambchop
Friday: Lentil Soup

On Melbourne Cup Day, while everyone was busy betting up a storm, the Reserve Bank quietly met and decided to raise interest rates again.

This is the second time they have increased (by 0.25%) since DF and I decided to fix a portion. Phew! And apparently they will be raised again before Christmas.

In other news, our bank (which is one of the Big 4 banks) has recently decided to cut dishonour fees from $35 to $9. Not that I have ever paid a dishonour fee, but still, it's a step in the right direction, right?

I have noticed sometimes I am looked down on when I mention I am with a Big 4 bank (Westpac, Commonwealth, ANZ or National). People scoff and go, "Oh, well I don't go with the big banks, I am with XXX (a small town bank)". And then they sigh as if to say I am strangling the small businesses because of my banking choice.

Is this the new thing? Instead of judging people on how much they don't recycle and whether or not they have a prius and use their green bags, we're all thinking we can get up on our high horse because the bank we use isn't a Big Bank.

Personally, the little banks didn't have what I wanted in my loan features. So I went with the bank that could offer me what I wanted. I even changed banks for our mortgage. It was not about ethics or morals really; it was about getting the most out of the hundreds of thousands of dollars I will pay in interest. If I'm paying that much to a bnk so I can paint my own walls and plant my own garden, I want Redraw options, DAMMIT!

I've always had a somewhat predictable pattern whenever I return from a holiday - whether it be a 'going away' holiday or a 'stay at home' holiday.

1. I stop watching a lot of television. I think it's the ads that annoy me the most. And the meaninglessness of it all. I still watch shows that I love, like Topgear etc, but I don't bother to channel surf for something to do. This usually lasts a few months or so, until I start to get worn down by the daily grind and don't feel like thinking about anything for a few hours, hence Neighbours works itself into my schedule.

2. I clock-watch at work. Not noticeably - no one sees me doing it. But I find I need to know exactly how many hours, minutes, seconds I have left before I am let free for the day.

3. I start fantasising and dreaming up ways so that I don't have to work. Or don't have to work as much. This is possibly done in conjuction with the above mentioned clock watching. 'If I didn't buy any clothes for a year, reduced my spending money by half, found a cheaper phone plan and started growing a bigger vege patch... I could have one day off a month...' is regular thought while I ice bar-cakes and decorate elaborate 18th birthday cakes. Oooh look, it's now five minutes closer to home time...

4. We start eating differently. While most of our meals are healthy, I find after a holiday I get more enthusiastic about cooking again. I make more meals that require time and effort and more stages of cooking. I get interested in aquiring and trying different spices and odd ingredients. For instance, have you ever used the spice mace? It is a similar smell to nutmeg (actually, it is from the outer shell of the nut of the nutmeg), but it gives a beautiful warm flavour to dishes...

5. I start to spend time doing things that I never found the time to do before, such as just sitting on our deck with our dog and a book.

6. I spend less time on the computer. Is this a good or a bad thing? Not sure, but it sure does free up a lot more time. I have gone two days without checking facebook, saving advice or my emails. Previously unheard of for me. And you know what? I don't mind. I log on and then log off again in a matter of seconds. I guess a holiday reminds me there is LIFE out there, away from cyberspace.

7. I read before I go to bed. It's something I do when I am on holidays because I don't have a definate time to get up the next day, and it's something I try to keep up, atleast for a little while, after my holidays.

8. I start thinking about what I'm spending my money on. I start asking myself if it's worth it. Do I really need a piece of overpriced frittata, or am I just buying it because everyone else is buying food? Do I really need to buy papertowel, or couldn't I use some rags instead? Is there a use for all these cleaning products, or is the bicarb, vinegar and bleach in my cupboard good enough? What could I use my money for, if not for this? Oh, another holiday!

9. I start thinking up ways to make our everyday life better and more enjoyable. Just little things, that probably seem like they don't matter, but they make a difference. Like playing cards or boardgames together once in a while. Inviting friends over for barbecues. Going for walks together. Making three course meals just because we can. Sleeping in on weekends. Going to comedy shows. Having tapas on our deck for lunch. Having picnics with friends at parks and botanical gardens. Trying out a nice bottle of wine every now and then.

I am sure there are more things that I change after a holiday, but these are the most obvious, that I can think of right now. Why? I guess going on holiday, and then the shock of going back to work, makes me realise that we WORK to live, and that I personally want to live more than work. Does your holiday affect your life after you get back?

It was nice to be on the recieving end of a pile of gifts; usually we are the ones giving to everyone else.

Our engagement party went well. Everyone behaved themselves and the weather was lovely. DF got there 2 hours early to get a table and pretty much all of the food got eaten, which was nice. (Usually have WAY too much food - but I think I have worked out the formula now ).

We recieved:
A blanket
A boardgame (Sequence)
The Cook's Companion by Stephanie Alexander
A slowcooker (I gave our other one to my mum a while ago as it was too big).
A six person setting cutlery set.
Assorted cooking utensils.
$190 in Myer vouchers (a higher-end department store)
$200 in Bunnings vouchers (hardware/homeware chain)
A set of dip/cracker & olive plates.
A painting

and we have another gift coming from DF's sister.

A couple who we had not seen in a while came along, but as the wife was pregnant and due, they left quite quickly. She had been having contractions that day and the night before! I couldn't believe that they actually came along, and they had an hour drive ahead of them to get home!
She gave birth the next day to a healthy boy.

DF's dads Jack Russell 'T' was pregnant with our dogs pups. It was exciting stuff because that was our whole plan from the beginning.

Anyway so T went into labour on Friday night, but by Saturday morning she had not given birth so we had to take her to the vet. It turns out the first one had gotten stuck she had to have an emergency ceasarean. Within 10 minutes of getting there, the vet had cancelled all of his appointments and had taken T into surgery. (we found out later that he was also going on holiday the next day and had not even packed!!!)

Because DF's dad was not there (he was at work, out of range on his mobile), it was just me and my mum and we had to make a quick decision whether to get her spayed. I took the responsibility of the decision and said yes. Not sure if it was the best decision but there is nothing I can do now. Technically this was just a glitch - she probably would have been fine to have pups in the future - but oh well.

Two hours later we picked her up. The vet bought T out in one hand and two gorgeous little Jack Russell pups in the other. T had three but the one that got stuck didn't make it, which is very sad. She has a boy and a girl - the girl looks like Jed and the boy looks like T The boy had a 50/50 chance of survival when he came out but now he seems to be getting on fine. T is doing great and the vet said that everything worked out much much better than he thought.

DF's dad isn't in a great financial place at the moment so DF and I paid for the surgery. We are getting one of the pups as a friend for Jed. He hasn't met the pups yet but in a few weeks I will take him over there.
I bought the vet and his receptionist two boxes of Belgian Guylian chocolates.

I spent a bit of time at DF's dads place yesterday, T is in the middle of the loungeroom in a box with her pups, she's a wonderful mother Everyone in their house just watch the pups now, nothing seems to be getting done no television, no laundry. Everyone is glued to them hehe. It's pretty cute.

I will post pictures soon!

I've been getting to know a friends' friends over the past two years. They're all very lovely people, albeit on a different wavelength to myself most of the time. The main friend, A, I completely click with - the others, while I love to see them, I can go a few weeks between visits . I think I must just be a little old for my age *shrug*

So, two things have happened recently which just completely shock me, only because it's something that I could never see myself doing, and because I think it's very irresponsible and just... plain crazy, to tell you the truth! I don't know, maybe it's not as bad as I think?

So the first thing to happen is this:

B is a friend of A's. B and her boyfriend own a house one suburb away from mine, she's only three years older that myself. B and I are quite similar in a lot of things (which is probably one reason why I was so shocked to begin with). We've had coffee a few times, and they're going to start trying for a baby next year. B's boyfriend J is a tradesman, he earns good money and she is studying business and event management at university.
So I found out that, B likes to go shopping. That's all good and well, except that she buys up big, obviously feels a litte guilty, and then when she gets home, she draws a line through the price, writes 'special' on it, and then writes a lower price on the tag . I asked A, in shock, does J not notice the money coming out of his and B's bank account. A snorts at me, "Whitestripe" she says "it's J we're talking about". Ummmm... ok?

So if that isn't enough, today A and I have coffee. She's trying to get my advice, because apparently I give good advice (?huh?) about an issue a friend of hers is having. She starts off by telling me she can't tell me. She then tells me the story, but doesn't tell me who it is. Then she tell me who it is. *sigh* Don't you just love gossip?

So, N is also a lovely girl. I've spent more time with her than I have with B. She's actually the girl I went shopping with, the one that has the two boys. (The friend I always go grocery shopping with, is the above friend 'A'). Anyway, so N has a two year old and an 8 month old. N and her partner R (the father of the two boys) have been together for two years (yup!). So apparently before N was with R, she had a major gambling problem. A would get calls from N, who lived a few hours away, crying because she'd just spent all her money at the pokies and had no money to get her car out of the car park. Ah huh. That bad.

So when N got together with R and popped out the kids, she had no time or will to go to the pokies, so this little problem seemed to go away.

Until, someone told her she could gamble online (seriously, who does that?). Well, last night she maxed out a $2k credit card on an american online gambling site.

She hasn't told R, because she's mortified, and because he didn't know about her previous problems.

She told A, and A has no idea what to tell her. My initial reaction was to tell A, to tell N, to stop being a fracking idiot, act responsibly, tell her partner, sort it out and never do it again.

So obviously A wasn't quite taken to that idea.

Here's the best part though. N thinks she can win it back. Apparently she was down to $1900 on the credit card, and she won $2000. She the gambled it all away again. This is all in one night.

N doesn't want to tell R. She's worried about what to do, because she is going to New York in a month, and that is when the credit card statement is due, she is worried R will open it.

R is also a tradesman, makes good money, works more than full time hours. N works one day a week, does online study at university and is home with her two boys.

A is really worried about her friends. I would be too - I am worried, but not like A, because I am not as emotionally involved as A. I have not known them for a long time.

I am afraid I did not give the greatest advice. I have, as most of you know, had a lot of experience with gamblers. Personally it does not hold one ounce of interest for me. I find it stupid and boring. When I was 18 I lost $33 on the pokies and felt empty and deflated, it felt like such an anticlimax. But, I do understand why people become addicted, and I KNOW that some people cannot be taught, cannot be told, cannot be shown. They must learn the hard way. Sometimes they do not learn the hard way, even. Sometimes you can't tell a gambler that it is not worth it, that they won't win, that the odds are against them.
And this is what I told A. Of course, I told her, after that, to tell N to talk to her partner and sort it out.

But honestly - does a rational person spend $2000 on a credit card, on an online gambling site? No. They don't.

And so they probably won't take the rational advice either.

But oh dear, I hope she does. Just this one time. There's a glimmer of hope right? She COULD take the advice. Just this once...?

-----

Maybe my form of gambling is watching other people screw up their finances and then hoping they take my advice so they can fix it? It does have a familiar feeling to it, empty like a spent balloon...

I am going grocery shopping this afternoon with some friends. I made a list yesterday and just realised as I made myself a coffee at work this morning, that I forgot it! ARGH!

How annoying.

So, to help me remember, I'm going to type up my meal plan for the next week:

Wednesday: Grilled Haloumi & Vegetable Skewers
Thursday: Miso Soup with Tofu & Vegetables
Friday: Burgers
Saturday: ? (Takeaway or a BBQ)
Sunday: Pasta
Monday: Carrot, Sweet Potato & Pea Risotto
Tuesday: Romani Gnocchi (Semolina) with salad
Wednesday: Indian Balti Curry

Most of the items I need I already have in the pantry, which is good. I am preparing to be attacked for being 'healthy' this afternoon. (what a laugh! I hardly think we're healthy, I would say we are more 'moderation' eaters)

You see, while one friend is sort of used to my 'unusual' (read: miso, tahini, lentils etc) grocery purchases (she still routinely comments on the weird things I buy and exclaims to the cashier how healthy I am - WHAT?!), I have not yet been grocery shopping with the other friend. I already know that most of the things she buys are prepackaged and 'normal', so I won't be surprised at her purchases, but as I said, I think, no, I KNOW, that she will comment on mine. Not that I care, but I am just preparing for it

I do wonder though, if someone can judge me and make comments on MY purchases, howcome it is deemed rude to say to someone else "Wow, you are so unhealthy."

For example, lentils. Sure, not for all people, I accept that. But someone I know had never even eaten them, bought a packet, cooked them plain, took one bite and told me she could not believe I ate them regularly because they taste like shit.

Well, of course they going to taste a bit bland if you don't cook them properly.

So am I allowed to say to her then, that I can't believe she feeds her children artifically flavoured 'chicken' snacks out of a packet, I mean, do you know how to read? Have you LOOKED at what is in those? Or when she sends her child off to school with a JAM SANDWICH, a packet of teddy bear biscuits and a bottle of cordial for lunch, good manners require me to say nothing to her about the lack of nutritional benefits in that childs lunchbox. I'm a rude SOB if I tell her she may as well give the child a piece of cardboard and a pen lid for their lunch.

*sigh* I don't really know where all that came from. However, having gotten my rant out now, I will not attempt to educate my friend on what is so bad about a pre-made jar of pasta bake sauce

I did an impulsive thing yesterday, which, while I completely do NOT regret, think I probably could have restrained myself from.

I got an email from a friend, it was a 'forwarded' email. This friend sends me a lot of Christian emails - she knows I am not religious so I am not sure why she does this, but I don't ever say anything about them, I just delete them.

Yesterday though, I had to respond. I got an email which was basically a 'Muslim hate' email. I was very confused. On one hand, she sends me pro Christian emails and expects me to be ok, and then she sends me this?

I have several Muslim friends, when the first friend reconverted, I admittedly was a little shocked, but I did my best to understand her. People make choices in their life and this is the choice that she made. Since then I have actually learnt a lot about her religion - while I would never devote my life to ANY religion, I am now more comfortable with her and her choice. At first I made the common assumptions that most people seem to make, and felt like a right moron when I realised the true aspects. The part that all of my friends practice, has NOTHING to do with the common misconceptions of unequal rights to women, terrorism, racism etc etc. And each person I know who practice this religion do NOT judge others for not being a part, nor do they try to convert them - which is very important to me.

Anyway. So, back to my story.

I had to respond to this email. I am hoping I don't tarnish the friendship, as I wrote on impulse:

Please don't send me articles like this, I have several muslim friends and find this deeply offensive.

I don't think I wrote anything too horrible?

-----------------------------------


Recently Watched: The Castle

Not sure if anyone here (other than those who live in AU of course!) have heard of Jessica Watson and her attempt to ber the youngest person to sail around the globe, unassisted? She left a few days ago from Sydney, before crashing into a freighter and having to make a stop near where we live. I've heard a few people's opinions on the subject, but the general concensus is that it's believed she has no idea what she's doing. (of course, she obviously does have SOME idea... otherwise she wouldn't be allowed to do it...) But, from television interviews she does seem a little immature. I can't help thinking that at home she must be a brat that wants some attention.
At work, there is currently a bet on how far she will get before she calls it off
To be honest though, I do hope she makes it. It will be one heck of an experience for her. I remember reading Jesse Martins book when I was about 12 and thinking it was the coolest thing.

In other news... there is no other news

We have enough points from our credit card to redeem for a 64 piece cutlery set, which would dearly come in handy when my parents arrive in a few weeks. We have about three forks, three knives, three spoons, and about 10 teaspoons (for coffees - the most important cutlery item, right? everything else pales in comparison...)

Thursday Expenses:
2.00 Staff Lotto
0.50 Coke
22.00 Beer (DF)
15.69 Groceries

Friday Expenses:
0.50 Coke

Currently Reading: The Messenger by Markus Zusak

Monday Expenses:
$136.42 Groceries

Tuesday Expenses:
$40.01 Petrol

Wednesday Expenses:
$9.00 Jewellery

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Well, I can explain the jewellery! I got a $25 GC from a jewellery store loyalty card program for my birthday, and they were having a half price off sale. So I bought a butterfly necklace that was $69, for $9! I thought that was not too bad

I just watched a movie called Love The Beast, it is a documentary/movie Eric Bana made about his car I loved it.

Anyway, probably not a mainstream movie in the US so I doubt anyone would know what I'm talking about. But it does have Jeremy Clarkson, DR Phil & Jay Leno in it...

Went to the library on Monday to return some books and borrow new ones (yay! for free books). I am utterly disturbed by one of the books I am reading called Chemical Pink, about bodybuilders. It's like a car crash, you know you shouldn't, but you look anyway. I am a little repulsed by the book but be damned, I'm going to finish it!


Currently Listening To: He Was King - Felix Da Housecat

So, I know I have blogged a few times about this, and I know that I never take any steps to address the problem. As the title suggests, I feel like I am a deer stuck in the bright headlights of an oncoming car; I cannot make a decision to move, and I don't know which way to move either.

I am still at a loss as to what 'path' i choose to take job-wise.

The reason I have begun thinking about this again is because the baker at work looks like he is about to quit. I have been hearing 'rumours' (namely, my boss telling me). And so I have been thinking about things. My boss was telling me how he would have to hire another baker. Things would be exactly the same as before (except that maybe the place might be a bit cleaner!). My colleague T (who is a close friend) is worried she will lose her night shifts if our boss hires someone else, as my colleague is a weird child that likes to start work at midnight. I'm not particularly worried about my place at work; it will not change.

But! I have been thinking, that possibly I could become the other baker. Maybe? I'm not sure. I know I could do it and I know I could learn bread production pretty fast. DF doesn't want me to work night shifts for many reasons - but I know I would not have to do many, as T would absolutely love to have ALL night shifts. So I would probably only have to do 2, or 3 at the most.

This would all involve me becoming an apprentice, instead of a 'hobby chef' which I am now (explanation: an apprentice gets a qualification at the end of the term, which for me would be 18 months, it is normally 4 years. A hobby chef gets a higher rate of pay but no qualification - and is employed under normal circumstances, not under a 'term' or contract). It would see my wage go from $435 for 22 hours a week, to possibly $250 for 38 hours a week. I would still have to work my other job ($270 for 15 hours a week). So I would be working 53 hours a week for $685, instead of currently working 37 hours for $705.

The other direction I could take would be a bachelor of commerce. It would probably also see me decrease my earnings for the next four years (and increase debt ).

I would be doing the course via distance, so I would still be able to work. I would probably do part time for 6 months, save up some money, then do full time for 6 months, etc etc. NO, I am not going to an on campus university. I can't even begin to explain why I don't want to. And YES I know about the workload and difficulty of an online course.

Anyway.

So I guess it all comes down to me deciding what to do, which is the real problem. I know in my heart, I prefer a job where I am 'doing' things, as opposed to sitting. But the earning capacity is also very different, which throws another ball in the court. If I became a baker/pastry chef, my goal would be my own business. If I became an accountant/financial planner/analyst - I can get a salary job OR use the knowledge to own a business. So I guess the common goal is my own business - which would most likely be in the food industry anyway.
I am not one of those people that must have a certain job. I put up with things; I find things I enjoy in any of the jobs I have had, I know that I would be relatively happy with anything really.

So I guess I don't really know what I want to do, and none of this 'thinking on paper' has helped! True to form, I will probably blog about this again in another 4-6 months



Currently Reading: Chemical Pink: A story of obsession

Well, other than our big spend on the bed yesterday, we didn't have a huge weekend.

Today was a NSD for me, DF spent $9 on the tip, he cut down a tree in our front yard.

I did some washing, tidied our bedroom and took Jed for a 45 minute walk, as well as doing 55 minutes of yoga.

I got some chocolate, homemade body scrub, a facewasher and some champagne from DF's sister, hubby and DF's mum, for my birthday.

Yesterday I forgot to mention I spent a gift voucher that my dad sent me for my Bday. I got a cd, The Best of Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds, and Se7en on dvd, because DF said I would like it, and it has Brad Pitt in it

One of my closest friends is away on a competition, she is being flown to another state to compete, so I will be having a quiet and most likely productive week I tend to fob off chores to spend time with her.

Friday Expenses:
Coffee & Cake: $8.30

Saturday Expenses:
Bed: $599
Mattress: $899
Coffee: $5.30
Juice: $5.95
Woodwork Book: $15.99
Doona Cover: $75.00

Sunday Expenses:
Tip Fee: $9.50


I am now off to upload new music onto my ipod.

I've decided to start posting at the end of each entry something that I either just watched/read or am listening to. I used to do that on an old blog, so I'll start doing it here, as this is the only blog that I regularly update

Hope everyone had a lovely weekend.


Currently Reading: The New Financial Order

Income:
DF: $1733.00
Me: $2495.95
Other: $20.00
Total: $4248.95 ($1062.23 p/w)

Expenses:
Mortgage: $1523.08
Groceries: $573.08
Petrol: $222.96
(Bills)
Phone & Internet: $78.10
Car Repairs: $52.87
Mobile Phone: $56.75
House Insurance: $69.39
Life Insurance: $53.67
Property Rates: $1083.21

Personal Loan: $148.00
Pet Supplies: $17.50
House Repairs/Maintenance: $134.94
Appliance/House Gadgets/Tech: $13.79
Work Expenses: $210.02
Clothes: $12.00
Shoes: $313.95
Dining Out: $148.50
Entertainment: $12.87
Misc: $59.80
Gifts: $12.49
Health/Grooming: $99.75
DF Fun: $317.70
Me Fun: $307.25
Engagement Ring: $2000

Total Spent: $7521.67

Deficit: -$3272.72

Ok, so by first look this is all a bit scary. But add into the equasion:
Bills: $1393.99
Of which I had the amount in a separate account.
So, deficit is now: $1878.73, which is fine because the engagement ring was $2k. So TECHNICALLY we were in front this month by $121.27, if you can believe that. The purchase of the engagement ring was to be taken out of our savings.

DF also earned about HALF what he usually does, due to having no work on.

But, all in all, August was an expensive month. We spent more than we should have in terms of fun money, but only went out for dinner once, for DF's sisters marriage dinner. Bought running shoes, which were a huge expense at over $300.
Groceries are quite a bit more as we had a bit of a party last weekend.

Areas to improve in September:
Fun Money
Groceries
Petrol (???)
House Maintenance

Todays Spending:
Petrol: $36.47
Drink: $3.99
Gardening Stuff: $71.94
Underwear: $25.00
extra Engagement Invitations: $12.95
Coffee: $4.30

As the title suggests, we gave out our first invitation today, and got our first official rsvp. I will send the bulk of them tomorrow and drop off a few at houses that are close to ours to save postage.

Today I planted mint, rosemary, lettuce and tomatoes, and added a bit more potting mix & trimmed our basil and coriander.

The coriander seeded and looks like it's dying - I'm not an expert gardener, so can anyone tell me, I have heard before that once coriander seeds it's dead. Is that true? I've trimmed everything back, does that help?

Tonight we're having a bbq for dinner, DF's having rissoles and I am having vegetarian sausages, with a salad.

DF's sister & fiances wedding went well. Their 'real' wedding will be next year, this one was so that their new-born daughter has her mum & dad as married on the birth certificate. Kind of nice. We had a lovely dinner afterwards, of course my mum and her partner ruining it halfway through because my mum had too much to drink. wow, what a surprise. thankfully it was just me and DF at that end of the table, so people knew something was happening but it didn't affect the rest of the table. Of course they turned it back on DF and I as they stormed out to leave, saying it was our fault and that we started it. REALLY PISSES ME OFF. Anyway.

This only strengthens my resolve to ask my mother to NOT drink at my engagement party. People are telling me it's unfair to ask her to do that and not everyone else, but I really could not give a crap. 'Everyone else' doesn't cause a scene every single time. And 'everyone else' are always walking on eggshells when she's around.

So yesterday we printed out the invitations and will send them tomorrow. I only have four invitations that I do not have addresses for. How exciting!

The invitations I ended up getting are notecards with pretty designs on the front, blank inside. Then I just printed out the information and glued it inside. They look good. Simple but good.

We are having a morning tea type of thing, starting at 10am. So then if people are getting hungry (or want to leave) they can go straight to lunch. We're having it at a popular park near a river, lots of amenities. I will post my planned menu later.

DF and I have been talking about an engagement party. Typically I think you're meant to have them just after you announce the engagement, and it's a good idea for us to do that because we're not actually getting married for a few years.
So, my dad and stepmum and little sister are staying with us Sept 25-Oct 2nd. They live 3 hours away by plane so it's a big deal, I only see them once a year.

I was thinking it would be a good idea to have the engagement party while they're here, people expect everyone's parents to be there of course.

So I called my dad yesterday to ask him if that would be ok, as it is their *holiday* after all. He said 'if that's what you guys would like to do we would be happy to.' I guess that is the best reaction I could get. I really did stress that if they felt the teeniest bit uncomfortable we could have a quieter dinner while they are here with just a few people, and have the engagement party another time with a whole heap of people.

It is just, I know my dad and them want nothing to do with my mum and her partner. Things weren't exactly amicable, and I understand that.
And I will have to ask my mum to NOT drink a single drop. So there's a possibility that she will get all stubborn and refuse to come anyway. And you know the horrible thing? There's a part of me that actually wants her to not come. *ALL* of our friends avoid her, she has given my DF's auntie a hard time over nothing once (and now thinks she's the devil - when the Auntie did nothing at all) and I just feel tense imagining my dad there. Also my mum's partner is one of those 'take sides before you even know the other side of the story' types - hates my dad because of the things my mum told him which mostly are in her head anyway (I suppose that is normal in a divorce anyway, but it just gets to me).

Anyway. Then there's the whole thing of planning it, I want to have it on a Sunday mid-morning, so it sends the message that it's a casual event, not an actual 'party'. DF suggested a morning tea type of thing, and I had the idea of hiring one of those mobile coffee carts. Anyone ever had one of those? How much do they cost?
I would make most of the stuff at work and then we would not have to ask people to bring anything. We would have cupcakes, quiches, sandwhiches, maybe some mini custard tarts or something, scones, slices of cake etc. Sort of like a high tea?
None of our friends have ever had an engagement party like that, so it would be rather different. We'd have it at a park.

So anyway, I just really don't know what to do. My dad's reaction was neutral, which is the best I could hope for I guess. I have the difficult task of asking my mum nicely not to drink. I got angry and upset last night and cried to DF because I thought to myself 'Why the **** should I even have to ASK this kind of thing? And why should I walk on eggshells around it? It's not MY ******* problem!'

Anyway. What would you do? I am sure my dad would be happy to have a nice dinner with maybe my DF's mum, grandparents, DF's sister and a couple of our friends. But then again I just don't think it's right to have an engagement party without your dad there.
We would invite around 50 people. There would be others that they could talk to, I just don't know what will happen.

I thought I would write this as an entry instead of a comment, as the question does deserve a bit of thought.

To be honest, I'm pretty far from frugal compared to some people here. So I guess I have never 'become frugal'. I spend massive amounts of money on things that many of you here never will. But we're all different, and we all live for and strive for different things.

But my desire to learn about money and all things financial came from my mother and her partner having a distinct LACK of knowledge about the subject. When I was 13 I started to record their reciepts for their new business in a ledger. I realised how much money they wasted, and, to be blunt, it really pissed me off. But because I didn't 'know' a lot about finances, I basically didn't have a leg to stand on in an argument with them about their money. (Of course, now I don't have a leg to stand on either, because I've realised, after many years, that I'm their CHILD, and will always be that to them, and not someone you take advice from).

I've always been an organisational freak as well, so once I started earning money, that was just another thing I did, recording expenses, making budgets, tallying up my savings, working out how much I would have in x weeks etc.

My need to control money probably comes from not having much available as I was growing up. I'm not sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing, but I think when I have children I won't burden them money problems as much as I was when I was a child. I remember times when I would not bother to begin writing letters to friends who I had moved away from, because I didn't know when we would be able to buy stamps (40c back then).
I remember having to ask my dad for money for things, even though he also paid child support AND gave me pocket money. I remember having to give the pocket money to my mum for groceries. Looking back, I think there were equal parts in 'not having enough money' and 'mum spending money on alcohol' in play. *shrug*

So really, for me, there was no actual turning point. My life is a series of events that have shaped me the way I am. Everything that has been sent my way I have tried to make some kind of order out of it.

It appears that the summer heat is already here. Eugh. (and yes, I know it is not even officially Spring here yet, but Queensland weather doesn't exactly follow rules).

I *extremely dislike* summer. I can think of three things that are good about it, and that's it: mangoes, thunderstorms and the fact that it's just too hot to eat anything and you sweat off about 5 kilograms (atleast at my work, anyway)

In a previous entry I mentioned I spent $170 on a pair of fitted running shoes. I took Jed for a couple of runs with them and was so amazed at them (ok - I've never had properly fitted runners before - I know it's not *that* amazing but it really was something) that I immediately forced DF to go and get fitted too.

He got them home and told me he would probably never wear them anywhere except walking with Jed (they are Nikes - so not his style, which are Vans and other skateboarding shoes). So then he took Jed for a run and lo and behold, he thinks they're amazing too. He even wore them to a job site (yes, in all their shiny white glory).

So hows that for a change of mind transformation?

Anyway, back to Summer. Argh. Totally dreading it. Really.

We have decided to brave this summer without an air conditioner. It was our original plan to buy one before summer. I know they aren't really necessary, but the 40C heat begs to differ. We just want to see how the house is over the summer - seeing as we moved in during the end of summer, we're kind of wondering how it is in the midst of it. I have a feeling we'll regret the decision, but we have ten million pedestal fans so I am sure we'll survive, somehow.

Sorry I have not posted much this week. Things have been a bit busy, life has been happening, and I have been rather distracted by some other websites currently. However!

I do have some news.

On Thursday I am going into the bank after work to fill out the papers to fix the rate for some of our mortgage.
I am thinking 50% (approx $150k) for 5 years. The fixed rate for 5 years is 6.49%. Our variable rate is 5.21%. We can only pay $10k extra for the term on the fixed portion, which is why we want some left at a variable rate. I don't foresee us paying more than 150k in extra repayments in the next five years... would be nice though! but i doubt it...
Anyway. They are calling the Australian economy the 'miracle economy'.

Not a great deal happening on my end, but I thought I would write a quick update anyway.

I went to the accountants (work related) yesterday and while I was in the CBD I went to get Jed a toy DF and I had been talking about (it's a dumbell shaped toy that 'giggles' when it is moved - it's weird but we thought it was cute).

Well I 'accidently' stumbled into some other shops and bought: some tracksuit pants, a cardigan, a short sleeved vest and a singlet, as well as a book... I'm happy about all the items, and the prices too. I am still within my allowance for this WEEK, which is amazing considering the cost of clothes lately, and my 'allowance' which is only $60 a week!

I FINALLY called my dad and told him the good news about our engagement. My stepmum and sister also told us congratulations. I am looking forward to them visiting in a bit over a month. Now they want to know what to get us for our engagement present, I am really a shocker when it comes to suggesting presents, my mind just goes blank.

It's POSSIBLE that the guy might not be moving in to our house now. Whew. He might be moving in with DF's dad (and partner, and two kids, and two dogs...) I feel kind of bad when I look at it like that It is just the two of us and we have two spare rooms - and DF's dad is working his bum off trying to build in a room underneath his house (he's in the process of renovating - has been for YEARS) so his cousin can stay there.

*sigh* I just can't imagine dealing very well with living with someone again, that I don't know.

Today I spent $3 on a drink.

We went out last night for dinner. The food was delicious. We have never dined in there, only had takeaways (which are always good, too!). We walked, it took us about 20 minutes. All up the food cost $41.50, and DF and his mum went halves in a bottle of wine ($12).

It's my birthday in a month. I would like to have a dinner out at a restaurant, but am a bit afraid of offending some people if I don't ask them. See, I have gotten to know a friends other friends pretty well, so they would expect me to ask them. They are all lovely girls, but it is as if they don't know how to behave when out in public.

I am YOUNGER than them (I'm 21 turning 22, they are 24-25), but when I go to a nice restaurant, I am concious of the other diners. DF's friends (28-32 years old) are concious of their surroundings too. I have no problem inviting every single one of DF's friends (who are, of course, my friends too). But these other girls, they talk loudly, about inappropriate topics (in a family restaurant), they swear, I have even had the pleasure of being out in a restaurant with them when they have started taking photographs of each others cleavage, and making it obvious.

It might be alright in a pub (possibly - I wouldn't do that kind of thing though) but I just feel very uncomfortable being around them in that kind of situation. But I don't want to offend them either. I don't know them well enough to tell them to stop, it's not as if they're children either, so it's not my place to tell them, even if I did know them well.

Am I being a prude, is this the kind of behaviour expected from people in their mid 20's? They're not 'trash' types. They're normally fine to be around, it just seems when they get together they revert to being 16 years old, at school. Or something.

Anyway. I guess I could just have a dinner without telling any of them. *sigh*

I have done so well this month with my personal allowance. I have been really trying hard to not spend any money, as I wanted to make up for my speeding fine, and also wanted to put any money I can onto my personal loan. On average I have spent $38.22 of my $60 (per week) allotment. DF has also done well, spending $46 of his $80 allotment.

My spending total also includes the dvd I bought, which I then sold some items on eBay to make up for.

Today I spent $3 on a coffee with friend. I didn't order anything else

When I got home from work, DF and I and his mum weeded a part of our property for 2.5 hours. Now we are going to go out to a local thai restaurant for dinner. We are going to pay for DF's mum because she helped us. The bill should be well under $100.

I nearly bought a tape recorder the other day, because I wanted to see how long Jed whined for when we leave in the morning. I had completely forgotten DF bought a video recorder for his trip to America last year. Today I got home from work and it was on the floor infront of the back glass door, pointed out onto the back deck I switched it off, and I'll wait until DF gets home so we can watch it. I feel sneaky for some reason, spying on our beloved pooch. He deserves some privacy, right?

I sold all of my eBay items, made just over $100 which is good. Unfortunately, I spent $62 on eBay while listing the items (I slipped and fell... and bought a tv series on dvd...) But! That's fine because that's what the sales were for anyway.

This weekend I might look through my stuff and list a few more items. The eBay fees and PayPal fees are a killer though, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it.

I don't know what to buy for my friends birthday gift for Saturday. It needs to be not very expensive - I do not know her that well and it only needs to be a small gift. Whatever it is, I will give her a bunch of flowers as well (there is an abandoned house accross the road from us with some lovely flowers next to the footpath - so that's free). I was thinking either some body stuff or chocolate. I am not feeling very imaginative today.

Ideas???

We have lots of expenses coming up next month. Rates are due ($1023) my speeding fine the engagement ring and normal bills, we need to buy a new queen sized bed and mattress so we can put our old one in the spare room, plus we might get cracking on building a fence around the property, and I have no idea how much that will cost. It will just be the cost of materials as DF and his apprentice can do all the labour on their slow days or work.

We have not seen a movie at the cinema for the entire month! And we have both kept well under our allowances. Dining out has been below average and our groceries are on budget! Woohoo! I feel like we are getting somewhere this month. Or atleast, preparing for a huge expensive month in August...

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I think I am going to have to call our bank and request a credit card limit increase. We come very close to the $5k limit every month. It's useless to us if we have to transfer money over to it BEFORE the bill is due, and BEFORE the interest hits on our mortgage. I may as well buy everything with our debit card, or withdraw cash and pay that way. Better yet, why don't I pay with seashells!
I just don't know if they will approve the increase; we have only banked with them since Jan/Feb of this year. We have $700 remaining in available funds and it is due August 3rd. Will that be enough to last? Hmmm, we will see...

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I'm thinking very seriously about calling to fix half of our mortgage on the current interest rate. Things seem to be picking up - but is it just the eye of the storm? I have not really felt the recession has impacted much around here. Sure, I got a shift dropped for a few weeks, work was a bit slow, but it is nothing like everyone describes in the US. I've only known a couple of people who've lost their jobs, and they seemed to have waded through a little bit, picked themselves up and got another job pretty quick.
Decisions, decisions!!!

I bought the first season of In Treatment on eBay (which kind of cancels out all the good I've been doing with selling other items on there!) and it arrived in the post today.

I am excited because I've never heard of it before, but it looks interesting. They've never played it on freeview and we don't have cable.

43 episodes on 9 discs, $57 well spent I think (1109 minutes for the whole series, apparently). If it's good but only a 'once-watch' type of series, I will re-sell it. I don't pretend to think I can get all my money back, but I can atleast get most of it back.

I think I will be finished my bookwork earlier than normal today, so I plan to go home early and get some things done I have been neglecting lately. DF's dinner (lamb and veges) is in the slow cooker and I will just make some miso soup for myself. So I have plenty of time to do all the things I need to accomplish, if I get home by around 2-2.30pm.

To Do:
- Take Jed for a walk
- Tidy my desk
- Sort out and archive all my paperwork
- Organise a filing system for our paperwork for everything 'post-house purchase'
- Do a load of laundry
- Tidy the living room and dining room tables
- Give the floors a sweep
- Get all the paperwork ready to do our taxes.
- Wash all the dogs bowls.
- Clean the fridge and freezer.
- Do the dishes.
- Write up a meal plan for the week
- Make a grocery shopping list.


Also, a list of things to do during the week:
- Find out the serial number for our fridge and buy door shelves for it.
- Find out how to make extra payments to my personal loan.
- Send all my ebay parcels once payments are recieved.
- Finish cleaning the leather couches and move them into our loungeroom (yay! can't wait!)
- Find a small and inexpensive present for a friends birthday. I don't really know her that well, but she has invited me to her birthday dinner. WHAT DO I GET?! HELP!