*sigh*
(rant ahead - however, it is financially related)
People frustrate me. Especially my mother. Which I'm sure most of you are already aware of. And I'm sure a portion of you are probably frustrated with your own parents too.
As I previously mentioned, my mother and stepfather decided to separate, and my mother moved out with my little brother and sister. They are still friends. I think when my brother and sister are older and have moved out, my mother and stepfather will get back together. We'll see. DF and I had lunch with him last week, and he seems a lot happier and less stressed. I don't think it's anyones fault, but I know that my stepdad had already raised his children and they had left the nest, then when he was finally getting excited about having 'me-time', along comes my mother with a 4, 5 & 12 year old...
Coupled with the fact that my stepfather, FINALLY, after 11 years, decided he'd had enough of my mothers drinking. The ultimatum was: stop drinking, or it's over.
Along with guidance of a friend who, shall we put it lightly, likes a drink and a joint, doesn't work, relies on government handouts and is always short of money and up to the neck in drama, my mother apparently chose the drink. 
So my mother seemed to think this was an amazing opportunity, and that she would be free to do whatever she wanted, have more money (she believed she didn't get paid enough from the family business), and that my brother and sister would behave better (my stepdad was very strict - whereas most of the time my mother is too tanked to know what we were all up to).
So within the first two weeks of living in her new place, she has first called me two days after payday to get me to do an advance on the next weeks pay, and realised that whatever she earns from her work will be deducted from her government payments. My little sister was apparently caught shoplifting with friends. My brother talked my mum into getting some superfast internet plan 'for homework' and my mother called me for another advance so that my brother could buy some clothes for a job interview. She gave him $90 which he spent on a pair of pants, a shirt and lunch with his friends. He was meant to buy shoes but he didn't 'have enough' - even though both me, DF and my stepdad all told my mother to take him to the second hand clothing store and buy him a nice shirt from there, for about $5. She said No, he needed 'good quality' clothes. Even when DF argued with her that he buys Ralph Lauren, Jag, Blaq etc shirts from the second hand stores, she still said No.
And this morning again she was complaining to me about the fact that after rent she will only have XX amout of dollars.
Finally I snapped and said 'Look, mum. After DF and I pay all our bills and mortgage, buy food for the dogs and pay for their flea and worming treatments, buy groceries, pay insurance, buy petrol etc etc, we don't have much left over either. No one does, don't you get it? You're not the only one that's skint. But you walk around blind to the money you spend, you won't even sit down and work out a spending plan, or record what you spend each day. So stop whining at me.'
I'm just so sick of hearing about how 'bad' her situation is. She has money to pay bills and rent and buy food, so she's a lot better off than some other people. She's in this situation because she put herself there, even though she blames everyone else. Argh!
could this be a learning curve???
April 6th, 2010 at 12:07 am
April 6th, 2010 at 12:46 am 1270514794
April 6th, 2010 at 01:20 am 1270516822
April 6th, 2010 at 02:40 am 1270521632
April 6th, 2010 at 11:50 am 1270554614
As for the alcohol, if she has a drinking problem, she can't "choose" alcohol over her marriage. It's an addiction, and she needs help.
April 6th, 2010 at 03:32 pm 1270567943
Wishing you the best!
April 6th, 2010 at 06:41 pm 1270579273
April 7th, 2010 at 12:16 am 1270599405
patientsaver, they aren't married, but they've been living together for 10 years. i call him my stepdad because for the last 10 years he has been there, however strict, for me and my brother and sister.
it just got too much for him. i had mentioned to him on several occasions that he had to start putting himself first, even if it meant ending things, and that I would never hold it against him. he was starting to get health problems from the stress (shingles) and I think it's the best thing for him. I know it sounds horrible to not side with my mother on this, but she could have steered things in a different direction, she just chose not to.
April 7th, 2010 at 08:32 pm 1270672333
April 7th, 2010 at 10:06 pm 1270677992
April 7th, 2010 at 10:06 pm 1270678015